mother nature is a bitch

so, in a grand april fool's day joke mother nature dumped a bunch of snow on us today. & by a bunch of snow i mean we had something ridiculous like a foot of snow. here are some pics from my back yard today when i got home. even though i don't speak bird, i'm pretty sure this bird was saying: "what the fuck? where the hell is spring? i came back for this shit?!"

& i /heart my friends because:

~going through my email tonight at work & i found the following message from miss april & it seems so appropriate, just had to share, this was in response to this blog posting (& yes, i do realize lately i've been spinning around the same few topics. i'll try to be more well rounded & whine about being fat more often)~



Yep.


I don’t really know how to respond to your post! *l*


It sounds like you want to be this person who


You were when you were coming back from the Playa, and


You’re stuck being MN Beckah. Seriously? You keep


Approaching this theme in your blogs…and you keep


Outlining plans of attack (YAY!!) but again, it’s like the


Same conversation you keep having with Kat and John…


It’s not going too far ….


Be selfish and cling to your alone time to write and ponder


Those wondrous ideas and thoughts I know you have. Make some


Headway with your goals. :-) You’ll feel better.


Goal 1) Work


Goal 2) Work Out


Goal 3) Write


Goal 4) Travel!


Simplify the way you live your life. :-)

if i'd've known i'd've built an arc

we had a bit of a storm today. ok, that's like saying there was a little leak in the titanic. we had a huge frickin rager of a storm here today in the twin cities. i really WAS going to head to the Y tonight with the fabulous miss jenn, but i was wiped out by the end of the day. i had a second interview for a new job at work. & that is always a bit of an adrenaline rush, going through the interview process, trying to do your best to impress & hoping that it was good enough. along with the fact that i 've been up late most days this week for one reason or another. & the cough is still hanging on like i'm its new best friend (even though i have SO told the cough we're breaking up, it's kinda like when your 3rd cousin twice removed on your dad's side comes to visit for a weekend & three months later he's become one with your couch & your remote control & the local liquor store is sending you thank you notes for the vast amount of natural ice he's buying on a daily basis. extreme measures may need to be taken, for both cousin chuck & the cough).

so i wound up hijacking miss jenn for some mc-crack. & a happy meal. the sky seemed to be getting a little dark as i was eating my cone, but i really didn't think much of it because we've been getting a lot of thunderstorms here lately. & i seemed to recall something during the day about a chance of rain, so i really didn't think much of it. & as we rolled out of mickey d's & headed back to work it started sprinkling a bit, but nothing too extreme. well, for about a minute & a half nothing too extreme. but the closer we got to work the harder the rain started to fall & i knew we were in trouble when the temp dropped ten degrees in the space of a minute & the light poles in the parking lot were swaying wildly as the rain fell sideways in sheets. yup, houston, we had a problem.

i really thought it was one of those flare ups where the rain heightens, beats down, & then just lifts a bit. but it wasn't. by the time jenn was getting into her truck the rain was heavy, hard, & cold. . .first figuratively & then literally. she opened her truck & tossed her purse in, 20 seconds later when she was opening my car door to get her gym bag hail started to fall. like acorn-ish pieces of hail beating the crap out of her, she actually almost fell into my car with the first one slammed into her lower back. after being pelted by mother nature jenn made it safely back into her truck, but she did look kind of like one of those sad little kittens left out in the rain, just completely drenched from head to toe. i felt super bad for making her go get the mc-crack with me.

i was actually worried that i was soon to have a moon roof & a hole in my windshield because the hail was so vicious. i could barely see anything & i was presented with three options: head to the highway & try to get home, drive to the covered parking at work & wait the storm, or find somewhere else to hole up & wait. i drove towards the underground parking thinking that i didn't want to go much farther than that, knowing that i was not going to get on the highway because i somewhat value my health, & i wasn't sure where else i would go. & there was a small part of me that was freaked about my car getting beat to little bits.

jenn pulled up next to me & asked me what i was going to do. almost instantly the tornado sirens went off. since i was raised in minnesota i know not only what a tornado siren sounds like, but that they only sound them when absolutely necessary (& the first wednesday of every month at 1pm). i asked her what she thought i should do & this was her response:

"i've never seen a tornado before, i come from a state that doesn't offer them. i don't know the protocol."

i have to say, even in a potentially life threatening situation jenn is frickin hilarious. if i WAS ever to be in a situation like the titanic where the shit was not only hitting the fan, but being pushed through as a steady stream, i'd like jenn to be there with me because i know that some how she'd make me laugh & make the situation just a little bit better.

now, i do come from a state that offers tornadoes & i've had the protocol drilled into my head ever since i can remember: don't go out chasing them, don't stand near a wall of windows, get to an interior room or a basement, make sure you have a flashlight, & for god's sake stay eff-ing put! so, the smart part of me thought we should park our cars & get into work fast as can be even though we were technically off work & jenn's house was only a mile away, give or take a couple yards. & then there was that OTHER part of me that figured we should just head to jenn's house in the hail & zero visibility because we were only a mile away & we'd both be more comfy, her especially since it's her digs. so, that's what we did, leave the shelter of the parking garage & head out into the storm. awesome. sometimes i'm a frickin genius i tell you what.

with the whole zero visibility thing & the fact that i drive a little saturn sports car it just seemed like a recipe for trouble, & it was. the whole way to jenn's apartment i drove as carefully as i could & just kept praying that i wouldn't stall out or hit any big puddles. & i made it all the way to her complex without doing either one. i did manage to stall out in her parking lot though, which was awesome. jenn was a bit ahead of me in her truck & i didn't see her go through the water because of where i was at, but she said she just barely made it through in her truck. my car, to give him credit, made it most of the way through, & by the time i realized how much water i was actually in, he stalled out. i know jenn has told me in the past that the bottom lot floods with a lot of water or a fast spring melt, but i think i just spaced it.

to her credit jenn did try to call me to warn me, but by the time the call came through to my phone my car was dead in the water, literally. jenn was able to help me push my car out, she waded into the water, shoes & everything to get behind my saturn & help me get it out. now, i was in my interview clothes, if you recall, so i wound up taking off my shoes & socks & trying in vain to roll my pants legs up to get out & push. a little aside, once again, jenn is crazy strong & i wouldn't want to get into a street fight with her. i put my car in neutral & before i was out of my car i realized the car was moving in a forwardly direction & jenn was pushing me in my car out of the water. jesus bobby. i did hop out & do the whole push-on-the-door-frame-of-the-car-with-one-hand-while-steering -the-car-with-the-other schtick. & we had almost cleared the puddle/pond when a guy ran out into the rain to help us get the car out. by then we didn't need any help. but, thank you dude, that was quite kind of you. my car did wind up starting once it was out of the water, but it was not happy with me by any means & kind of gave me a few scares on the way home just as payback. so, lucky i own a small car, eh? it i had something huge like a navigator, well, probably would have cleared the water, but, IF i got stranded & had to push something like a navigator i would just curl up in the backseat & take a nap.

while things turned out ok with me, jenn, our cars & the storm, back home my parents had a few problems of their own. as it turns out, the rain was so fast & so heavy that it flooded the basement, coming in along the walls on the southeast corner so quickly that the water brought silt along with it. yeah, lovely. evidently at one point my brother looked down the stairs & saw actually flowing water. oh, jesus bobby. luckily my brother can be a super awesome person & he went into the basement & got everything up off the floor & got the water up too. which, for those unfamiliar, my parents' basement is where i have some of my stuff still. i have a small room there for when i go home & hang out just to get away from my roommates. so i was a lot not happy when i learned that it was my room was now playing the theme song "i am a rock, i am an island." but, thanks to my brother's quick action nothing of value was ruined. still need to go clean it all up, but he did the hard part.

but, in the end. me, my family, & my friends are all safe & sound, which is the biggest concern. so, just 'cause it's fall in minnesota doesn't mean we've left the severe weather behind. & in the words of the weatherman on the news in regards to storms like this, here is my sage advice: "for your sake, for your next of kin's sake, if you're safe & protected stay there!"

thankful for the little things

i know this may seem a wee bit trite & over sentimentalized, but sometimes thing happen that make me very grateful for the little things in my life. & that make me realize exactly how many people really do love me & care about me every single day. as i'm sure everyone is aware of, on wednesday august 1, 2007 the 35W bridge, just north of interstate 94 collapsed suddenly into the mississippi river. when this all happened i was blissfully unaware browsing at the target in minnetonka. (for those of you unfamiliar with the geography of the twin cities, minnetonka is a suburb of minneapolis, about 20 minutes west from down town minneapolis, give or take & depending on traffic). after strolling out of target with purchases in hand i made my way over to the byerly's to get some last minute supplies for a chicken noodle salad i had to bring for a going away pot luck at work.

in the space of fifteen minutes i received three frantic phone calls. first from my brother demanding to know where i was. at first i thought something happened to my parents or one of my pets. my brother said something broken about my grandmother calling him, telling him a bridge over 35 collapsed, & wanting to know if i was ok. it didn't make any sense, but i told him yes i was fine. he said he had to call my sister & hung up. i was left standing in the frozen foods aisle of byerly's holding a box of ring noodles & a bag of frozen sweet peas looking at my phone utterly confused. as i checked out, paying for the noodles & peas, my phone rang again, this time it was my dad's cell phone number. i think it's completely rude to talk on a cell phone while completing a business transaction so i didn't answer. as i was walking out of the store, about 30-60 seconds after the first call, my phone rang again. it was my mom, calling from my dad's cell phone, in a sheer panic. she kept asking me over & over where i was & was i ok. i told her i was in minnetonka, i was fine, & what the hell was going on. she said something about a bridge on, or over, 35W collapsing & she wanted to know if i was ok. it still didn't make any sense to me, i said i was fine, just doing some errands & about to head home.

even though i had talked to both my mom & my brother & they had both said basically the same thing, i was still left shaking my head, utterly confused about what was going on & why they both were so panicked. i was just leaving byerly's when i got a call from jenn. it wasn't until the call from jenn that the entire situation really sank in. so, once again, i was asked where i was & if was i ok. i told her that i was just leaving the byerly's near her apartment, i was fine, & what was going on?! she told me that part of 35W, a bridge crossing over the mississippi, suddenly collapsed into the river. & that she thought i took that way home. she knew i was going to target but she had no clue if i was still in minnetonka or on my way home or on the bridge. & she was watching the news coverage, looking for my car in the river. that's when i got the chills. for anyone who hasn't seen my car, it's a bright summer blue saturn, with a moon roof, rear spoiler, & detailing on the side. it's a very unique looking car in a special edition color. so if it was in the river, & visible, it would be pretty easy to tell who's car it was. there was something about hearing that jenn was looking among the wreckage of the bridge for my car that made me sick.

i am completely touched that she cares so much about me that she wanted to make sure i was ok & was looking to make sure that my car, & myself, were not involved. but it made me sick to think of the what if. that bridge is not one that i take on a regular basis, but anytime i want to go to roseville or vadnais heights i would take 35W up to 36 east. it's usually a random last minute decision. wednesday, on the drive back to my apartment, east on 394 & then east on 94, i had a full flown panic attack. emergency vehicles were tearing past me on the highway, heading to the scene of the accident as i drove up 394. the 35 W north exit from 94 was barricaded off when i passed it on the way home. & i cried. a lot. not that on wednesday i had any intention at all of heading that way, but the gravity of the situation fell on me all at once.

in the days since this happened i've found out some things. one of them is that while i suspected it, my sister would travel that bridge quite a bit since she lives in north east minneapolis. thank the gods this didn't happen while she was on it. i'm so grateful for everything that led her to not be on that bridge when it collapsed. i also found out that an acquaintance of mine had just finished crossing the bridge & saw it collapse into the river. & my cousin john had planned on taking the bridge route to get home to his apartment near the U of M, but at the last minute took a different route because of the road construction on the bridge. he saw it fall from a different road. while i'm not one to randomly quote biblical passages (& i'm not even 100% this is EVEN a bible passage) but, i'll say it anywhere: there but for the grace of god. . . .

so even though my cousin drives me batty, i'm thankful for whatever caused him to change his travel that day. i'm glad my sister's day took her in a different direction. i feel genuinely bad for all the families that lost loved ones on august 1st, but i also have to say, thank goodness that MNDOT was doing road construction, that the lanes were reduced, because the families mourning the dead & the lost would be a lot higher without that construction. & thank god it was still summer & not the beginning of the fall semester at the U. this was a terrible tragedy that is going to radiate through the cities, especially with those of us raised here, for a long time, but it could have been so much worse.

my biggest thanks goes out to all of my friends & family, coast to coast, that called me & text messaged me just to say hey. there are some times in my life where i feel a bit forgotten, a bit cast aside, & a smidge unloved. & the next time one of those times comes around i'll remember: tina calling me just home from the hospital with newborn baby lucas, sarah calling at 6 am thursday morning just so she could hear my voice even though she got a text the night before, april texting because the phone lines were jammed, & all the other texts, IMs, calls. & when i think of any one of those things, particularly the sum of all of those messages & "i love yous" i'll remember that the dark times really aren't so dark when you have that many people that love you unconditionally.

minnesota: a winter rant

yeah, so, will someone please tell me why i'm still living in this eff-ing state?!

oh yeah. cause i'm broke.

but other than that, why do i stay?

FIRST, this past weekend was so cold that i almost froze my face off. now i'm not talking oh-my-it-was-a-bit-nippy-out-there, i'm talking, i literally almost froze my face off. i had my first class saturday at hamline & parked three blocks away, it was the closest spot. & normally the three blocks is not something i'd complain about because, well, it's not that far & i'm doing better with my exercise. however. it was some ridiculous amount below zero, after not even half a block i couldn't feel my legs. i knew they were still moving because i was getting closer to the building. i did have mittens on, & my ear muffs, & that's how i wound up with a bright red face & a pale band across my forehead. wind burn.

& yesterday when i left the house it was sixteen below. not kidding. & SO not funny! it did finally warm up a bit last night, but then, because of the "slight" warm up, it increased the chances of black ice forming on the roads. nice. & then this morning we got snow. not much. but due to the afore mentioned shift in temperatures & the black ice & other meteorological events, it was hell on the highway.

once again, i am not just saying "oh-my-traffic-was-bad." it literally took me an hour & fifty minutes to get to the gym. yup. it took me that long to go a whole 23 miles. that averages out to a mind blowing speed of 4.8 miles an hour. talk about wanting to jab an icepick in your eye socket. there were moments on the drive where i got to go a mind blowing 45 miles an hour, but most of the drive was done as a very slow crawl. as in, if it weren't a million degrees below zero outside so all the old people with walkers were indoors, i would've been clocked by one.

can i get a jesus bobby?

that's it, the fat lady sang, i'm out of this state. however, i know i have some loose ends to tie up, so by the time i celebrate my next birthday as a palindrome (same backwards as forward, so 33) i will be gone. i'll come back for the nice months, spring, summer (MAYBE), fall-ish. but winter, my butt will be a memory. most likely chillin' in cali. which means, i have to become a super motivated mofo, get my master's done, get my debt under control & do what i need to do to move on.

btw, i have to give a huge KUDOS to my trainer riley, even though i was 45 minutes late showing up to the Y, he stayed past our appointment time to show me the exercises that he did with jenn before i got there. have i said yet that riley rocks?