exercise: my favoritist drug of all

ok, maybe not my FAVORITIST of all time, because i'm a pretty big fan of caffeine. & the mccrack cone at the golden arches. but it's definitely a very close runner up. as my blog from yesterday indicates fairly well, to those good at reading between the lines, i was in a wee bit of a blue mood. not necessarily related to any one thing in particular, just kind of a compilation of a bunch of little things that when taken as a whole were a hard pill to swallow.

 

but, last night, i wound up at the Y with miss jenn. & the sadistic chick made me do an hour on the elliptical. ok, well, she didn't hold a gun to my head or anything, but she was doing an hour & since we were working out together i also felt compelled to clock an hour. & then every time i felt myself starting to get lazy & ease off on my pace or intensity i felt her glance my way, even though i didn't catch her in the act & so then i put my head down, gritted my teeth, & pushed harder.

 

now while i was at the Y glistening like a pig i wasn't all warm & fuzzy about the exercise schtick. i was kinda wishing i was lounging in a recliner curled up with my lappy cruising random websites & watching bad tv, yes yes, i really DO know how to live it up. yo.

 

but post workout, after i was able to shower & get into fresh clothes, i felt a lot better. i won't lie & say that i felt a million times better & like clicking my heels together for joy, but i felt more presentable, more put together, more relaxed, & just better able to cope in the big bad world. isn't that amazing?

 

yeah, i think i've come to this same conclusion in a previous blog. er, several previous blogs perhaps? i will say that with the impressive amount of random bullshit that i can memorize & store for years i find it incredibly amazing that i continually forget uber important things about myself. like, that i actually enjoy working out & it makes me feel loads better. or that writing keeps me sane & balanced (ok, once again, won't lie, as balanced as i ever am, but that's still pretty balanced, sorta). selective memory? too bad you can't clean out your brain like the memory on a computer. if i could there are several memories that i would like to rid myself of. including the embarrassing moment back in high school when i was blithely walking along, minding my own business, miserable in my own teenage awkwardness when i did a full on slip on the ice, my feet came out from underneath me, ass over teakettle to quote my dad, & i landed hard on my tail bone. yeah, that's one i could do without. & if that's what i share with people on a blog you can imagine what i have hidden in my grey matter. oy.

 

so, guess this means when i get off work i should head to the Y right? & that i'm all excited & uber motivated to get there & sweat out all those negative feelings that may be lingering & the tension & stress of a tuesday in a call center? yeah, not so much. while i know that it will make me feel better, i'm not super jazzed at this moment to head over to the gym. i know i'll go. i know i'll feel better when it's all said & done, especially post shower when i'm in my jammie-jams curled up with my lappy & able to say "yes, yes i did work out today."

 

then again, a habit doesn't become one over night, it takes time, takes perseverance, hard work & a few slips. i've had quite a few of the last as of late. & by slips i mean things ala my above story from my high school gory days. but i'm really trying to get back my gym-jo. if for no other reason than #1 it's fun to say gym-jo & #2 there are some cute weight lifting boys at the Y that i wouldn't mind ogling.