thought of the week: february 17th-23rd

i'm a bitch, i'm a tease, i'm a goddess on my knees, when you hurt, when you suffer, i'm your angel undercover, i've been numb, i'm revived, can't say i'm not alive, you know i wouldn't want it any other way

~meredith brooks, bitch

truer words have never been spoken about me. actually, for anyone who hasn't heard this song, the song in its entirety is very much a good explanation of me & my personality. there were actually several parts of this song that i almost pulled out to post, but i love these particular lines the most.

one of my favorite explanations is that i really AM a quintessential gemini. so i am a contradiction at times. i am a raging extrovert who is always flitting about work & talking to everyone & trying to get to know everyone. but sometimes i want nothing more than to tuck in on the couch at my apartment & curl up with my remote & just tell the world to fuck off for a while. i have a lot of confidence & i think very highly of myself, but not to the point that i can't see past the end of my nose. i always try to be VERY aware of my friends, their lives, & how they are doing & i'm always asking what i can do to help them.

i've had a lot of people telling me i'm going to change a lot now that i've had surgery. & i understand that there will be lots of things to change. the first of course being my physical body. but i've also been told that i most likely will have subtle changes to my personality. & i'm a bit afraid of that because i like who i am. i really don't want my personality to change at all. i like the fact that i have ego for three people, but also a deep compassion for others. i like being whimsical, as tina calls me. i like all my little ticks & habits & idiosyncrasies that make up me as a person. yeah, some people are probably annoyed by some of them (like the fact that i'm a blog whore & pimp by blog to all my friends) but i'm also ok with the fact that there are things about me that other people don't love whole heartedly. the world would be a very boring place if everyone loved 100% of everything about everyone they knew.

so here's praying that my personality doesn't change much. cause i like me. hell, i love me. that & the ghetto boo-tay. the votes are half & half on my butt. half say i'll lose it completely & half say the ass is genetic & it'll just get smaller. i'm hoping i keep my curvacious ass in a smaller size. hell, even white boys gotta shout on that one *winks*