Thursday, July 27, 2006

you brought what for lunch?!

while rummaging through cabinets this morning to find something to bring to work for lunch i found a can of sardines & thought "hmmm, it's been a very long time since i've had sardines, i should take these for lunch."

ponder that for a moment. for anyone who doesn't know what sardines are, they are tiny fish cooked & packaged in oil that you eat, typically, with crackers.

yeah, sounds more absurd seeing it in writing than it sounded in my head this morning. here's the thing. i hate fish. like hate hate hate it. however, as a kid i used to simply love sardines. my mom would open a tin up & my brother & i would split it with her, she'd break the little fishies up & portion them out onto saltines, handing them to each of us, then one for herself, doing that until the tin was gone & our little hands were slick with oil.

ah, fond memories.

as i said earlier, it's been several several years since i've indulged in sardines. but they sounded good as i stood in my kitchen this morning at 7am in light blue flannel pj bottoms, with picturesque fences & happy little sheep staring up at me. maybe i was half crazy because i had just woken up, or maybe i was way too lazy to think of anything else that i might want to actually make. either way, i put the tin & some crackers in my backpack & i was off.

now as the day went on this little idea of mine seemed not so great as it had at first, & it just got to be a worse & worse thought as the day went on. however, i also didn't have anything else with me. & my scheduled lunch is at 3:45pm because i work until 8pm, which means the cafeteria & the store are both closed. in theory i could've driven the 9/10 of a mile to subway, got a sandwich & got back with plenty of time to munch my sandwich before i had to be back on the phones. but i made jack promise no more extraneous eating out, for our health & for our finances. & i couldn't exactly get this all worked out with him last night only to turn around & go to subway today for lunch, that's just not right.

so i had the sardines. well, technically not all of them. i managed to have about half of them before i realized i just could not do this. one important detail that had some how slipped my mind is that the last time that i had sardines was sometime before i had my gallbladder removed. i can hear the moans already from those of you without that particular organ that know where this is headed, for the rest of you, i sum up: no gallbladder=extreme difficulty in digesting grease. & sardines are canned in oil. uh, yeah.

another thing i neglected to think about is my coworkers. sardines don't exactly smell like roses, or pizza, or anything yummy. they smell like fish & oil, it's a rather strong odor that tends to linger a little bit, & drift & waft too. so about ten minutes after i opened them up in the next aisle over i hear someone spraying air fresheners, "ssssssshhhhhhh... sssshhhhhst... sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh..... sssssssssshhhhhhhhhh..... ssshst....." lots & lots of popouri went into the air, & the ozone layer died just a little bit inside, er, outside.

& so i threw the rest of the little buggers away on my last break of the day, in the break room, far far away from anyone's desk. & right now i'm munching on popcorn & drinking half a 7up given to me by my kind coworker kim (thanks much!) & semi-lamenting the fact that i didn't take the 3minutes to make a tuna sandwich for lunch, 'cause at least that i know i can eat that & it smells a wee bit like fish, but not enough to make someone empty a whole can of glade into the air.

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