in about an hour i'll be leaving my parents' house & heading to HCMC to go under general anesthesia again. this time i'm having an exploratory laprascopy & an EGD (i can't recall the exact name, but they're sticking a tube down my throat). about a month ago, may 15th to be exact, i went into the ER at methodist hospital with abdominal pains so bad all i could do is cry. a coworker had to drive me in actually because i couldn't drive myself. they did some tests in the ER but couldn't find anything emergent, so i was sent home with orders to follow up.
pn (park nicollet the medical system my main doctor works from & the medical system of methodist hospital) decided i have an ulcer, put me on meds, & said we'll see what happens. i went to HCMC & my surgeon disagreed. pn called me last week to schedule an endoscopy, i nicely told them my surgeon disagreed with them & could they please call HCMC & come to a conclusion on a diagnosis. yeah. that didn't go over well. if you want to feel seething indignancy try telling a private practice doctor that your county doctor thinks they're wrong.
went back to HCMC yesterday for my surgical follow up & because i've had two bad attacks in the past two weeks (one last wednesday & one this past monday) my surgeon decided the best course of action is to go in & look around to see what's going on. i found this out yesterday morning. he had mentioned surgery when i saw him two weeks ago, but my brain somehow deciphered it to mean i'd only have surgery if things got bad enough for me to go to the er. i didn't really comprehend that if it was still bad over two weeks that i'd be heading back under the scalpel. ye-haw. *eye roll*
i did start to freak out yesterday, i won't deny that. but my surgeon doesn't seem terribly worried, evidently it's just a simple in & out outpatient procedure. he said i'll be fine & dandy by sunday to head to the science museum with my dad. i'll be honest, i did ask if we could do it later because sunday was my birthday & he said i probably shouldn't schedule this around my social calendar. but we could wait if i wanted, but he didn't feel it was the best option. yeah. evidently when faced with possibly life threatening medical diagnosis my first response is denial.
flashback eight years: saturday of easter weekend in 2000 my parents took me to regions hospital er because i was having crippling stomach pains, all i could do was cry. they did some tests & realized i had pancreatitus, which can be really serious if untreated. they said my gallbladder had to come out, i had stones & it was causing serious problems, but they couldn't take out my gallbladder until the pancreatitus resolved so the er doc wanted to admit me. my response was "i have a final project due on monday, can i go home & i promise i'll come back monday afternoon?" the doctor looked at me as if i was completely loony tunes & off my lithium & said "no, you're not leaving. this could KILL you." most people would accept that, but me being me & being one fucking stubborn bitch, i still asked him if it was open to negotiations. it wasn't.
time to shut down my computer so i can get off to the hospital. i'll be blogging later today, hopefully, if i'm not too nauseous from the anesthesia. whatever they gave me last time for anesthesia made me SO sick. omg. that was horrible nauseous. i'm contemplating spewing now as i recall the sensation. but, at least this time it's not as serious as it was last time. wish me well!
Showing posts with label aches and pains. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aches and pains. Show all posts
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Thursday, May 03, 2007
cause of death: philanthropy
this is a few days late, but to be honest, i haven't really had the energy to even attempt a blog until today. on sunday jenn & i walked eight miles to raise money for the march of dimes, an organization that does research to find the causes of premature birth & assist parents of preemies. & with both tina & sinead "in the family way" it seemed like a pretty dang good cause. walking for babies & all that jazz.
now, as naive as this may sound, when i set off on this great adventure i kind of had no clue exactly how long eight miles would really be. yes, you may hum eminem if you must. i knew intellectually, but i didn't really take into account how that distance would feel to my body. i've been working out pretty hard with jenn & then training with riley. not necessarily recently, but semi recently. & i am so much stronger now than i was even back in december. & i do have more endurance & stamina. but, not so much for a long distance walk.
i will give a piece of free advice to anyone out there planning to do a charity walk of any kind: in your preparation, actually walk. i know it may seem kind of obvious & silly, but yours truly sorta forgot this little detail. & my advice would be walk for your training. yeah, i know that is something that you would THINK is obvious, but for some reason it never really blipped across my radar. i was hitting the weight training hard with riley, pushing myself with that. doing interval training on the elliptical & the gazelle-ish machine, but no walks. i mean, not like i dragged myself everywhere, of course i did the normal day to day walking, but no increase in my walking. & while being able to leg press 240lbs is a great accomplishment, that doesn't help in a long walk as much as you would think.
yeah.
the way the walk was set up we went half way around lake of the isles, & that's where the two paths diverged. jenn-jenn & i could've continued going around lake of the isles for the five mile walk (which is a pretty healthy distance) or veer off to the right, down a path under a bridge & go around lake calhoun & then finish going around lake of the isles which was the eight mile path (also known as jesus-bobby-i-want-to-die) by the time we got to the fork in the road, so to speak, i was one hurting unit. like i said previously, i really wasn't in shape for this. (ya, i know round is a shape, but i wasn't able to roll around the lakes.)
my back had started hurting within about ten minutes of the walk due to the three liters of water in my camel back along with the snacks that i packed (cause a fat girl can't take a walk without food, duh. jesus bobby) & then there were the hills. omg. i did NOT sign up for hills. at least, i don't think i did. & so in addition to the pain in my back my shins were killing me also. & i was sweating like a pig. & i had lost my sunglasses clips & didn't have any contacts, so i was doing all this in the bright sun with no protective eye wear. the only thing i did have going for me is that my pale self was covered in a nice think lacquer of spf 60+, basically the strongest sunscreen i could find.
while i'm sure she was hurting too, jenn didn't really say much about hurting or being in pain. &, to brag just a tad, even though i was in pain, i didn't bitch much at all. & when jenn looked at me & asked if i was sure if i was ok i told her that "yup, i'll be fine." i knew that complaining wouldn't help me one bit. even if i wanted to whine like a three year old.
so when we got to the point where we had to make a decision between short loop (5mile) & long loop (8mile) jenn left the decision up to me. & i really with all my heart & aching back wanted to slide in with the main pack & finish off the five mile. but then again i had promised the people who sponsored me, my friends, riley, & most of all myself, that i would do the eight mile course. so i pondered this rather quickly while using the porta-potty at the park. i weighed the pros & cons while trying to balance & not touch anything at all in the portable outhouse . it's rather difficult while trying to think & not fall flat on my face or breathe in too deeply. but i did it & came to the conclusion that while everyone else, even miss jenn, would understand if i slunk out of the plastic bathroom & just went around lake of the isles, i would be disappointed in myself if i didn't finish the whole eight mile trek.
& we carried on.
i won't pretend that this is any kind of hollywood ending. i didn't catch a second wind & wind up jogging my way back to the starting camp with a huge smile on my face. i dragged my feet. by the end i was actually literally dragging my feet, shuffling along the sidewalk because i had lost most of the feeling in my legs, which was good because i wasn't able to feel the blisters forming on my feet. i was severely tempted at one point to call for help. the conversation went something like this:
"i want to call an ambulance!"
"no, you're not calling an ambulance, keep walking," jenn said over her shoulder, about ten feet in front of me.
we then heard a siren & my ears perked up like a cat hearing a can of tasty feast open.
"no, that's not your ambulance, keep walking."
right after that the bus pulled up. no, not an ambulance, but a real actual school bus. they had a shuttle service to drive people back who couldn't finish the walk. they saw jenn & i & pulled over asking if we wanted a ride.
once again i had an inner dilemma, sorta like the porta-potty soul searching except i wasn't bare-assed & trying to pretend i was somewhere else. the driver opened the door & asked jenn & i if we wanted a ride. & jenn didn't say anything, she just looked at me leaving me, once again, to decide. & while i really wanted to drag myself up those steps & flop onto the sticky-hot vinyl seat for the bumpy ride back, i found myself saying "no thank you, we'll walk."
i think i was delirious from pain. & we did actually finish the walk. all on our own. both standing up right. i wasn't walking well when i got home sunday night after the walk. & have only regained the ability to walk somewhat normally as of wednesday afternoon, but it was worth it. i am proud of what i accomplished.
& it was fun too. jenn cracks me up. & besides that, walking around lake calhoun is a great way to people watch! & it's not true: they do come out during the day *grins*
the two best lines of the day were also both provided by miss jenn toward the end of our walk:
(as we're nearing the starting area) i wonder if they have a beer garden?
(sitting in my car post walk eating lunch) it must have been hard to be jesus {pause}cause he walked a lot. . . .think any body gave him a sandwich after?
now, as naive as this may sound, when i set off on this great adventure i kind of had no clue exactly how long eight miles would really be. yes, you may hum eminem if you must. i knew intellectually, but i didn't really take into account how that distance would feel to my body. i've been working out pretty hard with jenn & then training with riley. not necessarily recently, but semi recently. & i am so much stronger now than i was even back in december. & i do have more endurance & stamina. but, not so much for a long distance walk.
i will give a piece of free advice to anyone out there planning to do a charity walk of any kind: in your preparation, actually walk. i know it may seem kind of obvious & silly, but yours truly sorta forgot this little detail. & my advice would be walk for your training. yeah, i know that is something that you would THINK is obvious, but for some reason it never really blipped across my radar. i was hitting the weight training hard with riley, pushing myself with that. doing interval training on the elliptical & the gazelle-ish machine, but no walks. i mean, not like i dragged myself everywhere, of course i did the normal day to day walking, but no increase in my walking. & while being able to leg press 240lbs is a great accomplishment, that doesn't help in a long walk as much as you would think.
yeah.
the way the walk was set up we went half way around lake of the isles, & that's where the two paths diverged. jenn-jenn & i could've continued going around lake of the isles for the five mile walk (which is a pretty healthy distance) or veer off to the right, down a path under a bridge & go around lake calhoun & then finish going around lake of the isles which was the eight mile path (also known as jesus-bobby-i-want-to-die) by the time we got to the fork in the road, so to speak, i was one hurting unit. like i said previously, i really wasn't in shape for this. (ya, i know round is a shape, but i wasn't able to roll around the lakes.)
my back had started hurting within about ten minutes of the walk due to the three liters of water in my camel back along with the snacks that i packed (cause a fat girl can't take a walk without food, duh. jesus bobby) & then there were the hills. omg. i did NOT sign up for hills. at least, i don't think i did. & so in addition to the pain in my back my shins were killing me also. & i was sweating like a pig. & i had lost my sunglasses clips & didn't have any contacts, so i was doing all this in the bright sun with no protective eye wear. the only thing i did have going for me is that my pale self was covered in a nice think lacquer of spf 60+, basically the strongest sunscreen i could find.
while i'm sure she was hurting too, jenn didn't really say much about hurting or being in pain. &, to brag just a tad, even though i was in pain, i didn't bitch much at all. & when jenn looked at me & asked if i was sure if i was ok i told her that "yup, i'll be fine." i knew that complaining wouldn't help me one bit. even if i wanted to whine like a three year old.
so when we got to the point where we had to make a decision between short loop (5mile) & long loop (8mile) jenn left the decision up to me. & i really with all my heart & aching back wanted to slide in with the main pack & finish off the five mile. but then again i had promised the people who sponsored me, my friends, riley, & most of all myself, that i would do the eight mile course. so i pondered this rather quickly while using the porta-potty at the park. i weighed the pros & cons while trying to balance & not touch anything at all in the portable outhouse . it's rather difficult while trying to think & not fall flat on my face or breathe in too deeply. but i did it & came to the conclusion that while everyone else, even miss jenn, would understand if i slunk out of the plastic bathroom & just went around lake of the isles, i would be disappointed in myself if i didn't finish the whole eight mile trek.
& we carried on.
i won't pretend that this is any kind of hollywood ending. i didn't catch a second wind & wind up jogging my way back to the starting camp with a huge smile on my face. i dragged my feet. by the end i was actually literally dragging my feet, shuffling along the sidewalk because i had lost most of the feeling in my legs, which was good because i wasn't able to feel the blisters forming on my feet. i was severely tempted at one point to call for help. the conversation went something like this:
"i want to call an ambulance!"
"no, you're not calling an ambulance, keep walking," jenn said over her shoulder, about ten feet in front of me.
we then heard a siren & my ears perked up like a cat hearing a can of tasty feast open.
"no, that's not your ambulance, keep walking."
right after that the bus pulled up. no, not an ambulance, but a real actual school bus. they had a shuttle service to drive people back who couldn't finish the walk. they saw jenn & i & pulled over asking if we wanted a ride.
once again i had an inner dilemma, sorta like the porta-potty soul searching except i wasn't bare-assed & trying to pretend i was somewhere else. the driver opened the door & asked jenn & i if we wanted a ride. & jenn didn't say anything, she just looked at me leaving me, once again, to decide. & while i really wanted to drag myself up those steps & flop onto the sticky-hot vinyl seat for the bumpy ride back, i found myself saying "no thank you, we'll walk."
i think i was delirious from pain. & we did actually finish the walk. all on our own. both standing up right. i wasn't walking well when i got home sunday night after the walk. & have only regained the ability to walk somewhat normally as of wednesday afternoon, but it was worth it. i am proud of what i accomplished.
& it was fun too. jenn cracks me up. & besides that, walking around lake calhoun is a great way to people watch! & it's not true: they do come out during the day *grins*
the two best lines of the day were also both provided by miss jenn toward the end of our walk:
(as we're nearing the starting area) i wonder if they have a beer garden?
(sitting in my car post walk eating lunch) it must have been hard to be jesus {pause}
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
how's your snuffleupagus tendon doing?
*face palm*
so, week before last i was dead dog sick. & then, monday, my talented self managed to injure my left leg. i was running downstairs at home to get my wallet to make a phone payment & my left foot hit the riser & a sharp crippling pain hit my calf & suffice to say, i was limping for the rest of the day.
monday at work i spent the day icing my leg, keeping it elevating, & wondering how the hell i was going to manage to get through the last week of the competition in order to actually lose weight & possibly win this thing. because, on monday, i was barely walking. & by barely walking, i mean i was full on limping, dragging my left leg behind me, & doing a lot of whining. the icing & the advil helped, & by tuesday morning i wasn't so sure i needed to go to urgent care. but then after going to the bathroom & walking on it a bit, i figured, the $15 copay at urgent care was worth it to see what was happening with my leg.
& it's a good thing that i did. i felt like kind of an idiot when i was explaining everything to the nurse. & she looked at me kinda like i was an idiot. &, interestingly enough, i think she was looking at me like i was drug seeking. on my file they have me down as having a script for vicodin, which i do, & was filled once, no refills, back in october, from when i found out about my back problems. & admittedly, i limped in there, told her my ankle had been bugging me all weekend, which it had, & then monday morning i was rushing down my stairs, which i was, & i put my left leg down & felt a snap & then shooting pain, (which i did, on all three).
luckily for me, it wasn't the nurse who was diagnosing me, it was a nice older gentleman, dr. d we'll call him, who also happened to have diagnosed me with bronchitis back in march of 2006. he asked me about it, felt up my calf, caused some shooting pain, wincing, & a few involuntary tears, had me walk on my tip toes & told me that i had: plantaris tendon rupture. nice, eh?
basically, the plantaris tendon is a little used muscle on the back of the leg that runs from the ankle up to the knee, about the size of a pencil. it doesn't really DO anything, but when you injure it, the stupid little guy hurts like a mofo. the only upside, is that it shouldn't take too long to heal. i was given some heavy duty anti-inflammatory meds, told to alternate ice & heat as tolerated, elevate when needed, & try to baby it a bit. but, dr. d also told me i could still work out, as much upper body as i want (yippee!) & that i could walk, just to take it a bit easy & make sure i'm not doing anything to cause it pain.
so i'm still in the running for the money, wa-hoo! the only bad thing is since i can't hit the gym as hard core as i WANTED to, i need to be perfect about my food. no indulgence's at all. which kind of sucks, but also a good thing. since i only have about two & a half months left till my birthday, i got my kickass boots in the mail on monday, &, as expected, the high boots are not *quite* fitting my calves yet. boo.
even with being on the injured list i hit the Y yesterday for personal training with riley. who gave me lots of grief since jenn & i only made it in for our training sessions once last week & once the week before. *GULP* he didn't even give me much slack being on the injured list! although, i'll give him credit that he didn't make me do the jumps. & that he did ask me a couple of times how my leg was doing. & jenn even asked me how my "plant, er, uh, snuffleupagus tendon" was doing.
after today just four more days to lose as much weight as possible to try to win this thing. & you know what gang, i do want to win it. BUT, if i can just get into the 240's i would be ecstatic. so that would be ok with me too. maybe it's possible. lots of self discipline. pushing myself as i can. yeah, i'm beating myself up a bit because in the past eleven weeks i've "cheated" more than i should've, & the only one that hurts is me. i've also not worked as hard as i can. i let myself use the excuse of being: sick, tired, pms-ing, & anything else that i thought i could get away with.
on the upside, i've been getting lots of compliments at work on looking like i've lost weight. i'm not feeling as tired as at the start of the year. & i really do feel like i'm getting stronger. which are all really awesome improvements in my health.
so, week before last i was dead dog sick. & then, monday, my talented self managed to injure my left leg. i was running downstairs at home to get my wallet to make a phone payment & my left foot hit the riser & a sharp crippling pain hit my calf & suffice to say, i was limping for the rest of the day.
monday at work i spent the day icing my leg, keeping it elevating, & wondering how the hell i was going to manage to get through the last week of the competition in order to actually lose weight & possibly win this thing. because, on monday, i was barely walking. & by barely walking, i mean i was full on limping, dragging my left leg behind me, & doing a lot of whining. the icing & the advil helped, & by tuesday morning i wasn't so sure i needed to go to urgent care. but then after going to the bathroom & walking on it a bit, i figured, the $15 copay at urgent care was worth it to see what was happening with my leg.
& it's a good thing that i did. i felt like kind of an idiot when i was explaining everything to the nurse. & she looked at me kinda like i was an idiot. &, interestingly enough, i think she was looking at me like i was drug seeking. on my file they have me down as having a script for vicodin, which i do, & was filled once, no refills, back in october, from when i found out about my back problems. & admittedly, i limped in there, told her my ankle had been bugging me all weekend, which it had, & then monday morning i was rushing down my stairs, which i was, & i put my left leg down & felt a snap & then shooting pain, (which i did, on all three).
luckily for me, it wasn't the nurse who was diagnosing me, it was a nice older gentleman, dr. d we'll call him, who also happened to have diagnosed me with bronchitis back in march of 2006. he asked me about it, felt up my calf, caused some shooting pain, wincing, & a few involuntary tears, had me walk on my tip toes & told me that i had: plantaris tendon rupture. nice, eh?
basically, the plantaris tendon is a little used muscle on the back of the leg that runs from the ankle up to the knee, about the size of a pencil. it doesn't really DO anything, but when you injure it, the stupid little guy hurts like a mofo. the only upside, is that it shouldn't take too long to heal. i was given some heavy duty anti-inflammatory meds, told to alternate ice & heat as tolerated, elevate when needed, & try to baby it a bit. but, dr. d also told me i could still work out, as much upper body as i want (yippee!) & that i could walk, just to take it a bit easy & make sure i'm not doing anything to cause it pain.
so i'm still in the running for the money, wa-hoo! the only bad thing is since i can't hit the gym as hard core as i WANTED to, i need to be perfect about my food. no indulgence's at all. which kind of sucks, but also a good thing. since i only have about two & a half months left till my birthday, i got my kickass boots in the mail on monday, &, as expected, the high boots are not *quite* fitting my calves yet. boo.
even with being on the injured list i hit the Y yesterday for personal training with riley. who gave me lots of grief since jenn & i only made it in for our training sessions once last week & once the week before. *GULP* he didn't even give me much slack being on the injured list! although, i'll give him credit that he didn't make me do the jumps. & that he did ask me a couple of times how my leg was doing. & jenn even asked me how my "plant, er, uh, snuffleupagus tendon" was doing.
after today just four more days to lose as much weight as possible to try to win this thing. & you know what gang, i do want to win it. BUT, if i can just get into the 240's i would be ecstatic. so that would be ok with me too. maybe it's possible. lots of self discipline. pushing myself as i can. yeah, i'm beating myself up a bit because in the past eleven weeks i've "cheated" more than i should've, & the only one that hurts is me. i've also not worked as hard as i can. i let myself use the excuse of being: sick, tired, pms-ing, & anything else that i thought i could get away with.
on the upside, i've been getting lots of compliments at work on looking like i've lost weight. i'm not feeling as tired as at the start of the year. & i really do feel like i'm getting stronger. which are all really awesome improvements in my health.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
thank god for halls & their mentholyptic goodness
OY. & a double OY!
i am sick. & i have being sick. i get all whiny & turn into a five year old. wanting nothing more than my mommy, some chicken noodle soup, a pb&j sandwich, my teddy bear, & my warm fuzzy blanket.
& so i sit, at work. sans mommy, soup,sandwich, bear, & blankie. it blows. hardcore. but i have 7up. & i have halls. not at all the same. in any world. but it's something. a few minutes ago i wasn't even able to breath. but thanks to halls & their advanced vapor action, i am now able to breath much easier. even though i feel like crap. warmed over. still.
i know that no one LOVES being sick, unless they're a hypochondriac, because then, they think they're sick even if they're really ok. which is a completely different story. all together.
but this really sucks. about half the call center is sick. the other half is just getting over being sick, or just now getting sick. i swear, this whole place is like one big petri dish growing lots of different scary bugs. & i'm neurotic about hand washing & everything else. & some how a germ made its way into my immune system & created a nice little nest in which to settle for a while. damn him!
the worst part of it is, that i'm not really sick enough to stay home. but i'm sick enough that i don't want to be at work & i don't feel like i'm at the top of my game at work either. blech.
i'll check in tomorrow with less whining & more sunshine.
i am sick. & i have being sick. i get all whiny & turn into a five year old. wanting nothing more than my mommy, some chicken noodle soup, a pb&j sandwich, my teddy bear, & my warm fuzzy blanket.
& so i sit, at work. sans mommy, soup,sandwich, bear, & blankie. it blows. hardcore. but i have 7up. & i have halls. not at all the same. in any world. but it's something. a few minutes ago i wasn't even able to breath. but thanks to halls & their advanced vapor action, i am now able to breath much easier. even though i feel like crap. warmed over. still.
i know that no one LOVES being sick, unless they're a hypochondriac, because then, they think they're sick even if they're really ok. which is a completely different story. all together.
but this really sucks. about half the call center is sick. the other half is just getting over being sick, or just now getting sick. i swear, this whole place is like one big petri dish growing lots of different scary bugs. & i'm neurotic about hand washing & everything else. & some how a germ made its way into my immune system & created a nice little nest in which to settle for a while. damn him!
the worst part of it is, that i'm not really sick enough to stay home. but i'm sick enough that i don't want to be at work & i don't feel like i'm at the top of my game at work either. blech.
i'll check in tomorrow with less whining & more sunshine.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
have you ever been in a fat girl? would you like to be?
it's official. jenn & i shouldn't go anywhere together. we're like a walking comedy show. last night we went to the gym, which i totally didn't want to go, but did anyway so that i can get my credit for my at-least-eight-times-per-month for my membership discount. & yeah, i know i'm in this competition, trying to avoid the slicey-dicey & all that jazz. but i was throwing a major three year old tantrum complete with floor kicking. & cramps. & then when we were there jenn told me that we were going to spend an hour on the ellipticals.
jesus bobby! & yesterday my abs & upper body were screaming from the torture of my tuesday workout. so i was one hurting unit, to quote my father. but i hung up my coat & slunk into the gym anyway & hopped myself onto my favorite elliptical to do some interval training. i think i mentioned this before, but riley has jenn & i doing interval cardio, so for two minutes we'll go along easy as pie & then push as hard & fast as we can for two minutes, then back to the pie. ((mmmm....pie....)) which, this whole thing is a lot harder than it sounds. i challenge you to do 30minutes on a treadmill, elliptical, or exercise bike however you normally would. then the next day, go back & do the interval. it will ki-ck your ass, in a good way.
i had my time set for an hour because, well jesus bobby, miss jenn said we were doing an hour, & it's just not acceptable to sit in the middle of the Y & read the subtitles on medium without actually doing any kind of sweating or exertion. & for some reason the interval training was just killing me yesterday. my lungs were on fire. i could feel that my face was hot, most likely fire engine red, & i was literally dripping sweat. i kept wiping my face with my scratchy Y towel. at about twenty minutes in, i reached up to wipe my forehead again, this time without said towel, & something didn't feel quite right. & that's when i realized i never took off my winter hat. over my bandana i was wearing my cute turquoise stocking cap with the white snowflake embroidered on it.
& i'm not entirely sure, but pretty close to sure, that i made a very weird face when i made this realization because jenn happened to look at me just as i realized i'd been killing myself on the elliptical for almost 20 minutes & i wouldn't've been so freakin hot if i would've taken off my hat. nice, eh? & jenn started laughing uncontrollably from whatever the odd expression it was on my face when i realized i'd been working out with a hat on for twenty minutes, she actually had to take a personal moment, pause & collect her thoughts to keep her from falling off the elliptical. oy, that's all i need is to be responsible for her untimely death at the Y due to a fall from cardio equipment.
we each only lasted 30 minutes of interval training on the elliptical, so then we decided we wanted to get in a full hour. i decided to do the exercise bike because, well, i got to sit on my ass, where as the treadmill would have meant doing interval training i would have to do something far too close to running for my personal comfort. eventually my bad self will run because, well, it's on my list of 1001 things, but wednesday was not the day.
while i happily intervaled my way along on the bike listening to augustana & dividing my attention between the twins game & the cnn coverage of the "astronaut love triangle" jenn was behind me nearly dying on the cardio equipment. too bad exercise bikes don't have rear view mirrors, i may have been able to see what was going on, even though i wouldn't've been privy to her inner monologue. which, as it turns out, was pretty damn funny.
now i wasn't going to do interval training on the treadmill because of the afore mentioned running that would have to take place. jenn on the other hand, not only felt up to the challenge, but faced it head on with a heart of moxie. she told me that after her two minutes, she upped the speed & started her running, & she managed to run about 1/10 of a mile before she decreases the speed & went into her "resting" phase. & while she was doing her resting she imagined telling riley the next day how she did. & some how in the midst of her day dream she was trying to convey how difficult it can be for a fat girl to run. except. she phrased the question, to her inner imaginary riley, as: have you ever been in a fat girl? which was completely & totally innocent at the inception of the question. & then turned dirty with a quick flick of the tongue to, would you like to be?
oh stop.
all she had meant was, had he ever been a fat girl. er, had he ever been fat? er, out of shape? um, had he ever put on the gwenneth paltrow fat girl suit? in any case, it was a conversation that never wound up occurring, because, well, he just may take that the wrong way. the whole would you like to be in a fat girl, yeah, wee bit inappropriate. & we want to do some more training with him before he realizes how inappropriate we can be at times. & by then he'll love us both for the fan-ta-bulous people we are that he won't want to lose us as clients so he'll put up with, & encourage, our inappropriate behavior.
jesus bobby! & yesterday my abs & upper body were screaming from the torture of my tuesday workout. so i was one hurting unit, to quote my father. but i hung up my coat & slunk into the gym anyway & hopped myself onto my favorite elliptical to do some interval training. i think i mentioned this before, but riley has jenn & i doing interval cardio, so for two minutes we'll go along easy as pie & then push as hard & fast as we can for two minutes, then back to the pie. ((mmmm....pie....)) which, this whole thing is a lot harder than it sounds. i challenge you to do 30minutes on a treadmill, elliptical, or exercise bike however you normally would. then the next day, go back & do the interval. it will ki-ck your ass, in a good way.
i had my time set for an hour because, well jesus bobby, miss jenn said we were doing an hour, & it's just not acceptable to sit in the middle of the Y & read the subtitles on medium without actually doing any kind of sweating or exertion. & for some reason the interval training was just killing me yesterday. my lungs were on fire. i could feel that my face was hot, most likely fire engine red, & i was literally dripping sweat. i kept wiping my face with my scratchy Y towel. at about twenty minutes in, i reached up to wipe my forehead again, this time without said towel, & something didn't feel quite right. & that's when i realized i never took off my winter hat. over my bandana i was wearing my cute turquoise stocking cap with the white snowflake embroidered on it.
& i'm not entirely sure, but pretty close to sure, that i made a very weird face when i made this realization because jenn happened to look at me just as i realized i'd been killing myself on the elliptical for almost 20 minutes & i wouldn't've been so freakin hot if i would've taken off my hat. nice, eh? & jenn started laughing uncontrollably from whatever the odd expression it was on my face when i realized i'd been working out with a hat on for twenty minutes, she actually had to take a personal moment, pause & collect her thoughts to keep her from falling off the elliptical. oy, that's all i need is to be responsible for her untimely death at the Y due to a fall from cardio equipment.
we each only lasted 30 minutes of interval training on the elliptical, so then we decided we wanted to get in a full hour. i decided to do the exercise bike because, well, i got to sit on my ass, where as the treadmill would have meant doing interval training i would have to do something far too close to running for my personal comfort. eventually my bad self will run because, well, it's on my list of 1001 things, but wednesday was not the day.
while i happily intervaled my way along on the bike listening to augustana & dividing my attention between the twins game & the cnn coverage of the "astronaut love triangle" jenn was behind me nearly dying on the cardio equipment. too bad exercise bikes don't have rear view mirrors, i may have been able to see what was going on, even though i wouldn't've been privy to her inner monologue. which, as it turns out, was pretty damn funny.
now i wasn't going to do interval training on the treadmill because of the afore mentioned running that would have to take place. jenn on the other hand, not only felt up to the challenge, but faced it head on with a heart of moxie. she told me that after her two minutes, she upped the speed & started her running, & she managed to run about 1/10 of a mile before she decreases the speed & went into her "resting" phase. & while she was doing her resting she imagined telling riley the next day how she did. & some how in the midst of her day dream she was trying to convey how difficult it can be for a fat girl to run. except. she phrased the question, to her inner imaginary riley, as: have you ever been in a fat girl? which was completely & totally innocent at the inception of the question. & then turned dirty with a quick flick of the tongue to, would you like to be?
oh stop.
all she had meant was, had he ever been a fat girl. er, had he ever been fat? er, out of shape? um, had he ever put on the gwenneth paltrow fat girl suit? in any case, it was a conversation that never wound up occurring, because, well, he just may take that the wrong way. the whole would you like to be in a fat girl, yeah, wee bit inappropriate. & we want to do some more training with him before he realizes how inappropriate we can be at times. & by then he'll love us both for the fan-ta-bulous people we are that he won't want to lose us as clients so he'll put up with, & encourage, our inappropriate behavior.
Friday, February 02, 2007
it's a good thing you're cute
in our original interview with riley jenn said something about needing someone to kick her ass in the gym. & riley did remember that come tuesday. damn. & that's what he did on tuesday. double damn.
on tuesday we started with upper body. lifting free weights. using some of the machines to do rows, high cable flys, low cable flys. & then using exercise balls to do ball bench press, back extensions & tricep exercises. & on wednesday i felt it. a lot. do you realize that when driving you do actually use your triceps? an amazing, & painful revelation. but great at the same time. because i felt like i got a great work out in on tuesday, used muscles that had been laying dormant for some time. & the pain felt good.
hurt so good. Sometimes love don't feel like it should, you make me, hurt so good.
um, yeah, once again, not karaoke night.
on wednesday i could barely get my jacket on because my arms & shoulders were pretty sore.
& even though jenn & i were both in pain, we made it to the Y that night, did a half hour each on the elliptical, taking riley's suggestion to do interval training. so basically go for a minute or two, get our heart rates up, then kick it up, go as fast & hard as you can for two minutes, then back off, let your heart rate & breathing drop down for two minutes. & repeat. & THAT really kicked my ass too, in a good way. i felt like i got a much more intense workout in those 30 minutes than i usually get by doing the weight loss program on the machine.
when i left the Y wednesday night my heart was racing, my lungs were burning, my legs were worn out, & my upper body was still one giant ache. i limped home, & went to sleep hoping to feel better in the morning.
& by yesterday morning, our second appointment with riley, i was feeling better & pretty optimistic about things to come. & what came was a lower body workout. ouch. & he remembered the whole ass kicking thing again. double ouch.
& then, because he's cute, with the brightest blue eyes & most adorable smile, i couldn't wimp out. so i pushed myself hard to try everything he suggested. & when he asked if the weights were ok or just light, i actually said, they're a little light, let's bump it up. jesus bobby. i'm really not a masochist, but when you're paying $35 an hour for personal training, you may as well get the most out of it, right? & that's exactly what i did.
today i woke up because i could feel the muscles in my big toes crying out in pain. i didn't even know that i had worked out the muscles in my big toes. but evidently i did. cause they were letting me know they hurt. along with my calves, thighs, glutes....basically everything, even that muscle at the very top of your inner thigh.
have i mentioned that i live in a basement? with no bathroom or kitchen facilities in said basement? getting ready for work this morning was definitely an adventure. & it seems like my legs are getting more & more sore with more time. so that i'm walking more funny now than when i woke up this morning with the aching toes. stairs are NOT my friend right now.
& then yesterday riley suggested that jenn & i try to weight train 4 days a week, so two with him & two on our own. & i was thinking for me the weekends would be the best time for me to do weight training. which means i should try the upper body workout tomorrow & the legs on sunday. & once again, cause he's gorgeous i don't want to punk out. so my dumb ass will be getting to school early enough tomorrow to work out & shower before my class starts. jesus bobby.
on tuesday we started with upper body. lifting free weights. using some of the machines to do rows, high cable flys, low cable flys. & then using exercise balls to do ball bench press, back extensions & tricep exercises. & on wednesday i felt it. a lot. do you realize that when driving you do actually use your triceps? an amazing, & painful revelation. but great at the same time. because i felt like i got a great work out in on tuesday, used muscles that had been laying dormant for some time. & the pain felt good.
hurt so good. Sometimes love don't feel like it should, you make me, hurt so good.
um, yeah, once again, not karaoke night.
on wednesday i could barely get my jacket on because my arms & shoulders were pretty sore.
& even though jenn & i were both in pain, we made it to the Y that night, did a half hour each on the elliptical, taking riley's suggestion to do interval training. so basically go for a minute or two, get our heart rates up, then kick it up, go as fast & hard as you can for two minutes, then back off, let your heart rate & breathing drop down for two minutes. & repeat. & THAT really kicked my ass too, in a good way. i felt like i got a much more intense workout in those 30 minutes than i usually get by doing the weight loss program on the machine.
when i left the Y wednesday night my heart was racing, my lungs were burning, my legs were worn out, & my upper body was still one giant ache. i limped home, & went to sleep hoping to feel better in the morning.
& by yesterday morning, our second appointment with riley, i was feeling better & pretty optimistic about things to come. & what came was a lower body workout. ouch. & he remembered the whole ass kicking thing again. double ouch.
& then, because he's cute, with the brightest blue eyes & most adorable smile, i couldn't wimp out. so i pushed myself hard to try everything he suggested. & when he asked if the weights were ok or just light, i actually said, they're a little light, let's bump it up. jesus bobby. i'm really not a masochist, but when you're paying $35 an hour for personal training, you may as well get the most out of it, right? & that's exactly what i did.
today i woke up because i could feel the muscles in my big toes crying out in pain. i didn't even know that i had worked out the muscles in my big toes. but evidently i did. cause they were letting me know they hurt. along with my calves, thighs, glutes....basically everything, even that muscle at the very top of your inner thigh.
have i mentioned that i live in a basement? with no bathroom or kitchen facilities in said basement? getting ready for work this morning was definitely an adventure. & it seems like my legs are getting more & more sore with more time. so that i'm walking more funny now than when i woke up this morning with the aching toes. stairs are NOT my friend right now.
& then yesterday riley suggested that jenn & i try to weight train 4 days a week, so two with him & two on our own. & i was thinking for me the weekends would be the best time for me to do weight training. which means i should try the upper body workout tomorrow & the legs on sunday. & once again, cause he's gorgeous i don't want to punk out. so my dumb ass will be getting to school early enough tomorrow to work out & shower before my class starts. jesus bobby.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
claustrophobia, party of one
yeah, so i had my mri this morning. & normally i'm not claustrophobic. i don't fear small places. i don't get all jittery if i don't have tons of space. but man alive, this morning i was ready to have a first rate panic attack. i wound up being able to get through the imaging by closing my eyes & concentrating really hard to the morning show on ks95, which, the bastards, happened to be mostly commercials during the time that i had the headphones on. phooey on them!
so mri's were totally not made for the robust person. i mean, i know i'm not any skinny mini, but i'm also not shamu in human form either. & the little tiny tube was so small that my arms were brushing on either side & the top was just a few inches from my nose. definitely not a comfortable feeling. i felt hemmed in & trapped. like a cat under a laundry basket. i could see the outside word, smell the fresh air freedom, but it was just out of my furry grasp.
*note to self* no longer funny to let the cat get trapped under the laundry basket.
on the upside, they originally told me that i would have to lie perfectly still for a whole hour, & the imaging only wound up lasting about 30-40 minutes & then i was free. free-ee fallin' (name the tune & artist on that one) now i'm hoping that i don't have to stay guessing for weeks on end while the interpretation is done on the actual images. i'm so ready to just get a definitive diagnosis & start treatment for whatever it is that i have.
the pain meds are only helping very minimally. frankly, it scares the beejesus out of me that i can take two vicodin at night, wake up an hour & a half later in sheer agony, & then fitfully sleep for a few more hours before finally getting up for the day. that is not normal. that is so far out of the realm of normal for me. normally those things knock me out so completely that just one of them will have me feeling fuzzy for up to a full day or more. i don't want to be that girl, the one who's dependent on meds just to function.
& on the other end of the spectrum, i took a nice brisk walk this am with miss jenn when i got done with my mri. sitting around & moping & being miserable isn't helping me much, so i thought that perhaps some exercise might do a body good. my right butt muscle was totally killing me from my 20 minutes on the treadmill yesterday during my lunch break, but i pushed through that pain, & the back pain, & actually did the whole 26 minutes. we think it was a mile around the "nature trails" at her apt.
so until i get the medical okie-dokie to go back to my more intense workouts, it'll just be some walking for this chica. so walking with jenn, with jack, with my puppy walker, on a treadmill, in the halls at work. . . .i could almost write a dr. seus-ish book about walking & the places i'll go. & being relegated to just walking bums me out incredibly since i just got three new work out dvds last week. blech. no pilates for me for a while. but possibly the yoga. as long as i'm not on my back for too long. yeah, um, we'll let that one go for now.
ps "nature trails" = torturous hills & windy paths covered in mud, twigs, & other debris.
so mri's were totally not made for the robust person. i mean, i know i'm not any skinny mini, but i'm also not shamu in human form either. & the little tiny tube was so small that my arms were brushing on either side & the top was just a few inches from my nose. definitely not a comfortable feeling. i felt hemmed in & trapped. like a cat under a laundry basket. i could see the outside word, smell the fresh air freedom, but it was just out of my furry grasp.
*note to self* no longer funny to let the cat get trapped under the laundry basket.
on the upside, they originally told me that i would have to lie perfectly still for a whole hour, & the imaging only wound up lasting about 30-40 minutes & then i was free. free-ee fallin' (name the tune & artist on that one) now i'm hoping that i don't have to stay guessing for weeks on end while the interpretation is done on the actual images. i'm so ready to just get a definitive diagnosis & start treatment for whatever it is that i have.
the pain meds are only helping very minimally. frankly, it scares the beejesus out of me that i can take two vicodin at night, wake up an hour & a half later in sheer agony, & then fitfully sleep for a few more hours before finally getting up for the day. that is not normal. that is so far out of the realm of normal for me. normally those things knock me out so completely that just one of them will have me feeling fuzzy for up to a full day or more. i don't want to be that girl, the one who's dependent on meds just to function.
& on the other end of the spectrum, i took a nice brisk walk this am with miss jenn when i got done with my mri. sitting around & moping & being miserable isn't helping me much, so i thought that perhaps some exercise might do a body good. my right butt muscle was totally killing me from my 20 minutes on the treadmill yesterday during my lunch break, but i pushed through that pain, & the back pain, & actually did the whole 26 minutes. we think it was a mile around the "nature trails" at her apt.
so until i get the medical okie-dokie to go back to my more intense workouts, it'll just be some walking for this chica. so walking with jenn, with jack, with my puppy walker, on a treadmill, in the halls at work. . . .i could almost write a dr. seus-ish book about walking & the places i'll go. & being relegated to just walking bums me out incredibly since i just got three new work out dvds last week. blech. no pilates for me for a while. but possibly the yoga. as long as i'm not on my back for too long. yeah, um, we'll let that one go for now.
ps "nature trails" = torturous hills & windy paths covered in mud, twigs, & other debris.
Monday, October 16, 2006
broken china doll
right now that's basically how i'm feeling, like i'm broken. cracked. flawed.
i haven't whined & moaned about it much lately on here, but i've been having a bunch of back problems lately, which have kept me from exercising. & kept me from doing much of anything except whimpering pathetically.
back in september i did go to a doctor, for my back & the horrid stabby headaches that i'd been getting. & he basically barely looked at me, didn't really believe me, & told me that it was probably just that i had bad posture &/or work station habits, to get evaluated for that & i'd be good as new. yeah. right.
at the beginning of october i had my yearly physical & mentioned this pain, which has been getting increasingly worse, to my brand new doctor. & of course i mentioned the stabby headaches & the other problems i've been having, & thankfully she was concerned & didn't dismiss me. which led to me having an x-ray on my lower back on friday october 6th, which led to me getting a prescription for heavy duty pain killers & an mri tomorrow & a preliminary diagnosis of: slight scoliosis, arthritis, & compressed discs aka the unholy trinity of back pain.
& i've shrunk an inch & a half.
yeah, how much does that totally suck? i used to be 5'6" just back a couple years ago. i'm now down to 5' 4 1/2". which is really really uncool. not only do i have crippling back pain, but i'm shrinking too. i now officially qualify to shop in the shortie section, all of my "regular" jeans & pants are getting too long on me. pants that i've had for a year now don't fit my height anymore & i'm walking on my hems. blech. double blech. i mean, yeah, on wow* i totally have a gnomish personality, but that doesn't mean i envy gnomes their height.
so i found all of this out last week on wednesday. & they wanted to get me in for an mri asap, but the only time they had last week, on friday, conflicted with my work schedule. so i'm going in at the crack's crack of dawn, i have to be at the imaging center at 6:15 am in order to be in the mri by 6:30am. & then after that i should have more information. i don't even know what to think about all of this. i'm seriously upset about the fact that i'm having so many problems, so much pain that just won't go away. & then the fact that back in september i was given the royal brush off by a doctor who barely gave me the time of day.
wish me luck gang that i get some kind of silver lining in all of this cloud cover. right now i'm getting used to the constant pain, & i really don't want my stasis to be a state of pain.
*wow=world of warcraft
i haven't whined & moaned about it much lately on here, but i've been having a bunch of back problems lately, which have kept me from exercising. & kept me from doing much of anything except whimpering pathetically.
back in september i did go to a doctor, for my back & the horrid stabby headaches that i'd been getting. & he basically barely looked at me, didn't really believe me, & told me that it was probably just that i had bad posture &/or work station habits, to get evaluated for that & i'd be good as new. yeah. right.
at the beginning of october i had my yearly physical & mentioned this pain, which has been getting increasingly worse, to my brand new doctor. & of course i mentioned the stabby headaches & the other problems i've been having, & thankfully she was concerned & didn't dismiss me. which led to me having an x-ray on my lower back on friday october 6th, which led to me getting a prescription for heavy duty pain killers & an mri tomorrow & a preliminary diagnosis of: slight scoliosis, arthritis, & compressed discs aka the unholy trinity of back pain.
& i've shrunk an inch & a half.
yeah, how much does that totally suck? i used to be 5'6" just back a couple years ago. i'm now down to 5' 4 1/2". which is really really uncool. not only do i have crippling back pain, but i'm shrinking too. i now officially qualify to shop in the shortie section, all of my "regular" jeans & pants are getting too long on me. pants that i've had for a year now don't fit my height anymore & i'm walking on my hems. blech. double blech. i mean, yeah, on wow* i totally have a gnomish personality, but that doesn't mean i envy gnomes their height.
so i found all of this out last week on wednesday. & they wanted to get me in for an mri asap, but the only time they had last week, on friday, conflicted with my work schedule. so i'm going in at the crack's crack of dawn, i have to be at the imaging center at 6:15 am in order to be in the mri by 6:30am. & then after that i should have more information. i don't even know what to think about all of this. i'm seriously upset about the fact that i'm having so many problems, so much pain that just won't go away. & then the fact that back in september i was given the royal brush off by a doctor who barely gave me the time of day.
wish me luck gang that i get some kind of silver lining in all of this cloud cover. right now i'm getting used to the constant pain, & i really don't want my stasis to be a state of pain.
*wow=world of warcraft
Thursday, September 28, 2006
please help us!
QUICK! while she's distracted! these are beckah's abs talking, & we need some serious help. right now she's staring at the wall dreaming of chocolate, so we've got a good ten minutes, maybe twenty if a call doesn't come in & bring her attention back to her computer.
so here's the deal. she's torturing us, call geneva, rally the convention. on tuesday she made us do that damn winsor pilates 20 minute dvd! which hurt like a mother, but she's been doing those off & on...more off than on, for the past year, so we expected one day of pain & we'd be home free for a few weeks to a month or more.
oh no, not the case at all! yesterday she got medieval on our abs & did a crunch video! pick your spot pilates! well, we have a spot we'd like to tell her about where she can store that dvd! it was killing us, we were all whimpering & shivering in pain & exhaustion, but figured, ok, it's a fluke.
it's not a fluke. the cruella da vile did yet another stinkin crunch dvd today, burn & firm pilates. we're starting to really hate that ellen chick that leads these events of torture. & to make it worse beckah kept mumbling "it's only 30 minutes, just half an hour." & the stinkin workout was actually forty-freakin-five minutes. she's a sadist, we're telling you, she's sick.
someone please rescue us. we're happy under our layer of warm, jiggly fat. we don't wanna lose our comfy home. please wave a candy bar in front of her, give her some tv series on dvd or something, anything to keep her away from the pilates dvds & the evil evil torture that comes from them!
eek, she's coming around! help us any-one, you're our only hope!
so here's the deal. she's torturing us, call geneva, rally the convention. on tuesday she made us do that damn winsor pilates 20 minute dvd! which hurt like a mother, but she's been doing those off & on...more off than on, for the past year, so we expected one day of pain & we'd be home free for a few weeks to a month or more.
oh no, not the case at all! yesterday she got medieval on our abs & did a crunch video! pick your spot pilates! well, we have a spot we'd like to tell her about where she can store that dvd! it was killing us, we were all whimpering & shivering in pain & exhaustion, but figured, ok, it's a fluke.
it's not a fluke. the cruella da vile did yet another stinkin crunch dvd today, burn & firm pilates. we're starting to really hate that ellen chick that leads these events of torture. & to make it worse beckah kept mumbling "it's only 30 minutes, just half an hour." & the stinkin workout was actually forty-freakin-five minutes. she's a sadist, we're telling you, she's sick.
someone please rescue us. we're happy under our layer of warm, jiggly fat. we don't wanna lose our comfy home. please wave a candy bar in front of her, give her some tv series on dvd or something, anything to keep her away from the pilates dvds & the evil evil torture that comes from them!
eek, she's coming around! help us any-one, you're our only hope!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
oh baby, you're so tight!
ok all, get your collective minds out of the gutters. *giggles* we're talking about my calf muscles, specifically the left one. for some reason for about a week or so the muscles on both my calves have been really tight. i have limited flexibility in my ankle & it kinda feels like all sorts of little pins are poking at the backs of my left calf. probably not a good thing, huh?
i'm thinking it's stress related. that it wasn't good enough for stress to cause me daily headaches & crippling back pain so that the only thing i can do is whimper, hunched over like i'm bucking to be the next quasimodo. so the evil little stress molecules have invaded other tissue in my body, & my poor calves were unprepared & easy targets for the stress buggers to burrow their way deeply into the muscles causing shooting pains & morning wake-up charlie horses.
now i'll be the first to admit that i haven't been really great lately about getting in enough water, so i may be a wee bit dehydrated. i'll admit to that one right now. but i can't believe that being a little behind on my water consumption could cause such incredible pain & horrible muscle problems, but possibly.
tomorrow morning i'm supposed to be at the gym bright & early with miss jenn to finally get this fitness train back on track, but it will most likely be with lots of whining & grouching if my legs are still feeling tighter than one of madonna's corsets.
i'm thinking it's stress related. that it wasn't good enough for stress to cause me daily headaches & crippling back pain so that the only thing i can do is whimper, hunched over like i'm bucking to be the next quasimodo. so the evil little stress molecules have invaded other tissue in my body, & my poor calves were unprepared & easy targets for the stress buggers to burrow their way deeply into the muscles causing shooting pains & morning wake-up charlie horses.
now i'll be the first to admit that i haven't been really great lately about getting in enough water, so i may be a wee bit dehydrated. i'll admit to that one right now. but i can't believe that being a little behind on my water consumption could cause such incredible pain & horrible muscle problems, but possibly.
tomorrow morning i'm supposed to be at the gym bright & early with miss jenn to finally get this fitness train back on track, but it will most likely be with lots of whining & grouching if my legs are still feeling tighter than one of madonna's corsets.
Monday, August 28, 2006
pain: a balancing act
i read an article that said that women who exercise regularly, at least three times per week for 30min each time can decrease their cramps by 30% or more. which begs the question, is it better to have a little pain everyday, or crippling pain for a few days? for a while i didn't pay any attention to that, even forgot all about it, until today.
today i'm in such bad pain i want to curl up in a ball, in bed, doped up on lots of narcotics, until i drift into a wondrous drug induced haze with pretty colors & talking bunnie wabbits. or pretty bunnie wabbits & talking colors. either way works splendidly for me.
of course i realize that if i worked out a couple days a week i would feel better in general. i'd be less stressed out, which would lead to fewer headaches & backaches & spazzing muscles. all of which have been happening pretty much daily lately. & of course there'd be the increase in energy. building muscle. losing fat. losing weight. wow, isn't that a novel idea? exercise & get healthy.
i know i whine a lot about this. but somehow i can't get up the motivation to do anything. although starting next tuesday jenn will be done with training, & so i better find some motivation soon because she wants me to be her work out buddy. i know i'll whine & bitch, & most likely give her the evil eye. but when she & i were working out together this past winter we were both doing really well.
large doses of narcotics really aren't an option, are they? eh, a girl can hope, right?
today i'm in such bad pain i want to curl up in a ball, in bed, doped up on lots of narcotics, until i drift into a wondrous drug induced haze with pretty colors & talking bunnie wabbits. or pretty bunnie wabbits & talking colors. either way works splendidly for me.
of course i realize that if i worked out a couple days a week i would feel better in general. i'd be less stressed out, which would lead to fewer headaches & backaches & spazzing muscles. all of which have been happening pretty much daily lately. & of course there'd be the increase in energy. building muscle. losing fat. losing weight. wow, isn't that a novel idea? exercise & get healthy.
i know i whine a lot about this. but somehow i can't get up the motivation to do anything. although starting next tuesday jenn will be done with training, & so i better find some motivation soon because she wants me to be her work out buddy. i know i'll whine & bitch, & most likely give her the evil eye. but when she & i were working out together this past winter we were both doing really well.
large doses of narcotics really aren't an option, are they? eh, a girl can hope, right?
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
the ultimate key to weight loss lies within this blog
i finally discovered the key to weight loss for obsessive food lovers, lose your sense of taste. now hear me out on this one. you may find it interesting. over the past week or so i've been noticing that my food just doesn't taste quite right. it's not that it's bad, perse, it's just not really there. i first started noticing that the taste was just "off" on some of my favorite foods. then i noticed that the taste wasn't just off, it just wasn't there.
the main taste buds that seem to be affected are sweet & salty. which is pretty much a real downer in general. my mom attributes this to the odd virus that i have that she was generous enough to share. my dad thinks that it may be due to a drug interaction between the meds i'm taking. i'm not sure either way, but i just know that it's happening.
it's like my sense of taste has a volume control & it's been turned way down to 1. occasionally i can taste the food, but most times it's just the texture. now when you take the actual taste away from food, the textures wind up being odd & in some cases completely disgusting. try eating a banana when you can't taste it. very un appealing. applesauce is also a pretty weird one. oh, & a pizza sandwhich when you can't taste any of it, yeah, i can barely even begin to describe that one.
my hope is that this really is something easily corrected, ie virus or med interaction. i really don't want to think about the other possibilities because, to be quite frank, it gives me the heebeegeebees. i'm taking a joking attitude towards all of this because it's the way that i can best deal with the whole thing. jack on the other hand is pretty upset & wants me to rush to the doctor right away. i told him this isn't going to kill me, & maybe it'll be great for weight loss. when you can't taste your food you really don't want to eat. & you especially don't want to overeat because what's the fun of eating something when you can't taste it?
if this winds up being chronic i will miss tasting my food. especially since it seems to be mainly salty & sweet. that totally ruins the popcorn/chocolate combo at the movie theater. as it is, i'm not putting too much time or energy into worrying about this. so wish my luck all. or maybe don't wish me luck. seriously, this could be one of those blessing in disguise things, like that chinese farmer with the horse parable. you know the one.
the main taste buds that seem to be affected are sweet & salty. which is pretty much a real downer in general. my mom attributes this to the odd virus that i have that she was generous enough to share. my dad thinks that it may be due to a drug interaction between the meds i'm taking. i'm not sure either way, but i just know that it's happening.
it's like my sense of taste has a volume control & it's been turned way down to 1. occasionally i can taste the food, but most times it's just the texture. now when you take the actual taste away from food, the textures wind up being odd & in some cases completely disgusting. try eating a banana when you can't taste it. very un appealing. applesauce is also a pretty weird one. oh, & a pizza sandwhich when you can't taste any of it, yeah, i can barely even begin to describe that one.
my hope is that this really is something easily corrected, ie virus or med interaction. i really don't want to think about the other possibilities because, to be quite frank, it gives me the heebeegeebees. i'm taking a joking attitude towards all of this because it's the way that i can best deal with the whole thing. jack on the other hand is pretty upset & wants me to rush to the doctor right away. i told him this isn't going to kill me, & maybe it'll be great for weight loss. when you can't taste your food you really don't want to eat. & you especially don't want to overeat because what's the fun of eating something when you can't taste it?
if this winds up being chronic i will miss tasting my food. especially since it seems to be mainly salty & sweet. that totally ruins the popcorn/chocolate combo at the movie theater. as it is, i'm not putting too much time or energy into worrying about this. so wish my luck all. or maybe don't wish me luck. seriously, this could be one of those blessing in disguise things, like that chinese farmer with the horse parable. you know the one.
did i say a wee bit of nausea never hurt anyone?
ok, so i'm not technically hurt by the massive nausea that hit me yesterday. but i did wind up punking out & leaving work after being in for only two hours. & i was down right miserable the entire time i actually was at work. truth be told, i really would have called in sick from the start if i would't've had a conference call at 1pm. i was picked to be on a special project team for a new software release, so i kinda need to be at all of these meetings, er, on the phone for the conference calls. & i couldn't do the call from home because i need to actually be in front of my computer with access to my systems. blech.
for the record, if anyone has this same intestinal virus i have, you have my deepest sympathy. want a ginger ale & saltine? my mom is going on four weeks with this crud. jack took three days off of work. he said he's still not completely up to 100%, but he's well enough to go to work, so that's a good thing. i did feel better this morning, but the sick feeling is coming back again. monday night the nausea that started at work was followed by a stabby pain in my side on the drive home. stabby pains are never any good. i really really really hate being sick.
to quote jenn "you can't change the past so there's no use bitching about it, all you can do is change what you do from now on." i'm sure someone else wickedly famous & dead has said that before, but i've heard it most often from jenn, so we'll give her credit. i was bemoaning the fact that i didn't think i'd be accomplishing my goals for my birthday, the first & foremost being the being in the 250 lb range. i also know that even though my birthday is next week i'm not going to be able to make the ten days of 1 hour or more of exercise. i know i won't make that because i've already missed five days, & i had fourteen to start with. so even if i do an hour for each of the remaining days i'll end up short. i may be able to make 10+ hrs if i add up the time. that's more realistic.
i hate being sick, have i said that yet? now i know that no one really enjoys being sick. at least when i was in school i got to miss a day of the horror that was high school to stay home wrapped in a blanket on the couch watching talk shows & soaps. but even then i really hated being sick. i hate that feeling of can't. because when you're sick there are things you just can't do because you don't feel healthy enough. now granted, yesterday if i would've been feeling well i may or may not have put in my hour of exercise. just like monday night if i would've been feeling better there's a possibility i would've done my twenty-five minutes of weights. there's a good chance i would't've done either one, but the possibility still existed. it's having that possibility taken away from me that i really resent.
for now jenn is right, i can't wish away the past, but only work on what lies ahead. so wish me well on recovering quickly so that when my birthday rolls around next week i actually feel well enough to celebrate with my family & then go out on saturday with my friends. if i'm miserable next week too i just might have to throw a first class fit, not like it'd make me feel any better or accomplish anything, except relieve a touch of tension.
for the record, if anyone has this same intestinal virus i have, you have my deepest sympathy. want a ginger ale & saltine? my mom is going on four weeks with this crud. jack took three days off of work. he said he's still not completely up to 100%, but he's well enough to go to work, so that's a good thing. i did feel better this morning, but the sick feeling is coming back again. monday night the nausea that started at work was followed by a stabby pain in my side on the drive home. stabby pains are never any good. i really really really hate being sick.
to quote jenn "you can't change the past so there's no use bitching about it, all you can do is change what you do from now on." i'm sure someone else wickedly famous & dead has said that before, but i've heard it most often from jenn, so we'll give her credit. i was bemoaning the fact that i didn't think i'd be accomplishing my goals for my birthday, the first & foremost being the being in the 250 lb range. i also know that even though my birthday is next week i'm not going to be able to make the ten days of 1 hour or more of exercise. i know i won't make that because i've already missed five days, & i had fourteen to start with. so even if i do an hour for each of the remaining days i'll end up short. i may be able to make 10+ hrs if i add up the time. that's more realistic.
i hate being sick, have i said that yet? now i know that no one really enjoys being sick. at least when i was in school i got to miss a day of the horror that was high school to stay home wrapped in a blanket on the couch watching talk shows & soaps. but even then i really hated being sick. i hate that feeling of can't. because when you're sick there are things you just can't do because you don't feel healthy enough. now granted, yesterday if i would've been feeling well i may or may not have put in my hour of exercise. just like monday night if i would've been feeling better there's a possibility i would've done my twenty-five minutes of weights. there's a good chance i would't've done either one, but the possibility still existed. it's having that possibility taken away from me that i really resent.
for now jenn is right, i can't wish away the past, but only work on what lies ahead. so wish me well on recovering quickly so that when my birthday rolls around next week i actually feel well enough to celebrate with my family & then go out on saturday with my friends. if i'm miserable next week too i just might have to throw a first class fit, not like it'd make me feel any better or accomplish anything, except relieve a touch of tension.
Monday, June 05, 2006
a wee bit o' nausea never hurt anyone
over the last week i did get my jiggle free buns, arms, & my transfirmer in the mail, yippee! & last night i went crazy & did a whole bunch of cleaning, straightening, & junk tossing in my room. so i now have space actually in my bedroom to work out. when i woke up this morning i thought, "hmmm, i have enough time before i need to shower & leave for work, maybe i'll try one of those new firm videos." it really did seem like a fantabulous idea at the time.
i won't bitch & moan & say it was a totally horrible experience, because it wasn't. but, the video was more difficult than the workouts i've been doing recently, however not impossible. there were parts that i just wasn't able to do, like the tricep press, or whatever it's called. i put my hands on the edge, tried to do the lower & up thing, & promptly fell on my tchkus in a most ungraceful manner. & then the whole plank push up while raising up one leg, i just about face planted when i attempted that. & while i had thought my room had enough space to effectively do the whole dvd, i was just a bit wrong, by about two feet. so i had to scrunch up a couple of times to try to do the moves. i did learn a few lessons. next time, i'll do the video in the livingroom. & my upper body is wicked weak, which means i need to start doing more weight lifting to get those muscles awake & working!
now back to the nausea. when i finished the dvd i was proud of myself that i had completed it without passing out or having a heart attack. i reached for my water to take a drink, & i'll be honest, i threw up a little bit in my mouth. is that the sign of a good work out? or one that was just a bit too intense? either way it was kinda gross, the kind of thing that could make a person not want to work out if every time they did so they had to vomit a little bit. but, i will do another work out tomorrow morning, i haven't decided which dvd, to firm or not to firm, that is the question.
i'm also 25 minutes from my goal of an hour, so i'll do some weight lifting at work, or maybe take my puppy for a walk when i get home, something to make up that extra time. who knows, maybe i'll be uber motivated & do both of them. it couldn't hurt, right? especially if it keeps me away from the chocolate chip cookies & ice cream that have invaded my house this past weekend.
for the record, it wasn't any of my jiggle free dvds that i did this morning, it was one of the other ones, super charged sculpting or something like that. i have watched both my jiggle free arms & buns to see what moves i'll need to do in the workouts, & then seem fairly handle-able. one of the areas that i'm really paranoid about is my arms. especially since i've committed myself to a strapless wedding dress. yikes! & of course, if you remember the ass checks, i'm worried about de-ghetto-fying my booty. so getting it jiggle free will be a great move in that direction.
ah, remember last week's lament about office potlucks? today my regional manager stopped by to give us cheesecake. i'm not sure why. nice of him, super sweet. but damn evil too. jenn said "seriously....cheesecake? rich fattens us up and leaves?" it was a drive by cheesecaking. mmmm.....cheesecake {homer simpson-esq drool}. i'll eat it because otherwise it's food abuse. but i'll savor it slowly. & save most of it for after my lean cuisine lunch.
i won't bitch & moan & say it was a totally horrible experience, because it wasn't. but, the video was more difficult than the workouts i've been doing recently, however not impossible. there were parts that i just wasn't able to do, like the tricep press, or whatever it's called. i put my hands on the edge, tried to do the lower & up thing, & promptly fell on my tchkus in a most ungraceful manner. & then the whole plank push up while raising up one leg, i just about face planted when i attempted that. & while i had thought my room had enough space to effectively do the whole dvd, i was just a bit wrong, by about two feet. so i had to scrunch up a couple of times to try to do the moves. i did learn a few lessons. next time, i'll do the video in the livingroom. & my upper body is wicked weak, which means i need to start doing more weight lifting to get those muscles awake & working!
now back to the nausea. when i finished the dvd i was proud of myself that i had completed it without passing out or having a heart attack. i reached for my water to take a drink, & i'll be honest, i threw up a little bit in my mouth. is that the sign of a good work out? or one that was just a bit too intense? either way it was kinda gross, the kind of thing that could make a person not want to work out if every time they did so they had to vomit a little bit. but, i will do another work out tomorrow morning, i haven't decided which dvd, to firm or not to firm, that is the question.
i'm also 25 minutes from my goal of an hour, so i'll do some weight lifting at work, or maybe take my puppy for a walk when i get home, something to make up that extra time. who knows, maybe i'll be uber motivated & do both of them. it couldn't hurt, right? especially if it keeps me away from the chocolate chip cookies & ice cream that have invaded my house this past weekend.
for the record, it wasn't any of my jiggle free dvds that i did this morning, it was one of the other ones, super charged sculpting or something like that. i have watched both my jiggle free arms & buns to see what moves i'll need to do in the workouts, & then seem fairly handle-able. one of the areas that i'm really paranoid about is my arms. especially since i've committed myself to a strapless wedding dress. yikes! & of course, if you remember the ass checks, i'm worried about de-ghetto-fying my booty. so getting it jiggle free will be a great move in that direction.
ah, remember last week's lament about office potlucks? today my regional manager stopped by to give us cheesecake. i'm not sure why. nice of him, super sweet. but damn evil too. jenn said "seriously....cheesecake? rich fattens us up and leaves?" it was a drive by cheesecaking. mmmm.....cheesecake {homer simpson-esq drool}. i'll eat it because otherwise it's food abuse. but i'll savor it slowly. & save most of it for after my lean cuisine lunch.
Friday, May 26, 2006
crunchy crunchy snap crackle pop crunch
nope, not a new breakfast cereal by kellog's, that's the sound that my knees were making yesterday when i was doing squats & lunges at work. maybe i ought to back up a little in the story? i work in a call center, the late shift, so i get to leave at 8pm. most days there are very few phone calls coming in the last couple hours of my shift. since i missed my workout yesterday morning i thought that i would take advantage of the slow evening & the fact that i just so happen to have some free weights at my desk. yeah, i am that much of an uber geek that i have free weights at my desk, i also have a balance ball too that i sometimes sit on. in my defense, it's hard trying to lose weight while working in a call center. we have treat friday every week! & any reason at all & we through a floor wide pot luck. today it was my supervisor's turn for treats. she brought in six pizzas & a box of ice cream sandwiches. seriously, how is a girl to compete with six pizzas & ice cream sandwiches?
in a valiant attempt to try to feel i'm actually getting something productive for myself accomplished while i'm at work i do try to get a bit of exercise in on those days that i don't do my morning workout, like yesterday. a very long story short: fiance sick+central air not working+emergency run to target for a furnace filter=missing my morning workout. i won't claim that i'm super motivated & that i workout between every call because it just isn't so. but with my new commitment my weights have stopped completely gathering dust.
yesterday evening, thursday, i had a complete pill of a member on the phone. the kind of person that just argues & argues & argues until they wear you down & give-in to what ever they want so they will just shut the f*ck up. i am proud of myself that i didn't give in to her. she finally got frustrated & said she'd call back another day. fine, do that, if the person who answers the phone has any sense they'll do the same thing i did. so fast forward half an hour. i was reading a book & rather bored & wanted a snack, & i remembered i had a couple miniature 3musketeers in my desk. i unlocked my desk & took one out & savored every little bite of it. then about 15 minutes later i wanted the last one. i even started to unlock the drawer when i spied my lonely free weights sitting on top of the file cabinet. i had a brief argument with myself before relocking my desk & picking up my weights.
i had 35 minutes left of work & so i figured i could do 30minutes of upper body work no problem, after all, these were only 2lb weights. yeah, right. they wound up killing me. i did get some upper body lifting done & then to rest my arms i started doing lunges. at 7:30pm the call center is very quiet, deathly quiet even, & to be honest i like it that way. it's too noisy earlier on when everyone's here. too much inane chatter that just annoys me. the bad side about the call center being so quiet is that i could hear every single grating crackle that my knees made as i lunged. & it really grossed me out. who knew that two little joints could make such a loud splintering sound? then, of course, because i was hearing my knees grate i began to feel the joints rubbing harshly, which then caused me great knee pain.
a year ago when i was much thinner i don't remember my knees crunching like that. i know that they have, in the past, sounded like they were going to splinter apart if i had to walk one more flight of stairs. then again, that was back when i was over 300lbs & i was able to out weight many of the minnesota vikings. also back around that time my dad started buying glucosimine, or something like that. an over the counter supplement to repair & strengthen cartiledge in the joints. i did take those for a while, even though they were wickedly expensive. then, as i lost weight, the creaking lessened & then stopped, & so did my daily supplements.
even though i'm pauper broke right now i'm very tempted to take a jaunt over to walgreen's or snyder's & pick up some of those handy-dandy-little-magic-pills to lessen my knee pain. because, i will admit, that i hobbled around most of thursday night, & i'm limping a bit today. then again, the old fashioned "more activity, less weight" may ease up that joint pain too.
blech, isn't it obnoxious how often the answer to a medical problem is "lose weight." i'm getting rather sick of it, & for the record, yeah, i know, i'm fat & need to stop being fat. i get it.
in a valiant attempt to try to feel i'm actually getting something productive for myself accomplished while i'm at work i do try to get a bit of exercise in on those days that i don't do my morning workout, like yesterday. a very long story short: fiance sick+central air not working+emergency run to target for a furnace filter=missing my morning workout. i won't claim that i'm super motivated & that i workout between every call because it just isn't so. but with my new commitment my weights have stopped completely gathering dust.
yesterday evening, thursday, i had a complete pill of a member on the phone. the kind of person that just argues & argues & argues until they wear you down & give-in to what ever they want so they will just shut the f*ck up. i am proud of myself that i didn't give in to her. she finally got frustrated & said she'd call back another day. fine, do that, if the person who answers the phone has any sense they'll do the same thing i did. so fast forward half an hour. i was reading a book & rather bored & wanted a snack, & i remembered i had a couple miniature 3musketeers in my desk. i unlocked my desk & took one out & savored every little bite of it. then about 15 minutes later i wanted the last one. i even started to unlock the drawer when i spied my lonely free weights sitting on top of the file cabinet. i had a brief argument with myself before relocking my desk & picking up my weights.
i had 35 minutes left of work & so i figured i could do 30minutes of upper body work no problem, after all, these were only 2lb weights. yeah, right. they wound up killing me. i did get some upper body lifting done & then to rest my arms i started doing lunges. at 7:30pm the call center is very quiet, deathly quiet even, & to be honest i like it that way. it's too noisy earlier on when everyone's here. too much inane chatter that just annoys me. the bad side about the call center being so quiet is that i could hear every single grating crackle that my knees made as i lunged. & it really grossed me out. who knew that two little joints could make such a loud splintering sound? then, of course, because i was hearing my knees grate i began to feel the joints rubbing harshly, which then caused me great knee pain.
a year ago when i was much thinner i don't remember my knees crunching like that. i know that they have, in the past, sounded like they were going to splinter apart if i had to walk one more flight of stairs. then again, that was back when i was over 300lbs & i was able to out weight many of the minnesota vikings. also back around that time my dad started buying glucosimine, or something like that. an over the counter supplement to repair & strengthen cartiledge in the joints. i did take those for a while, even though they were wickedly expensive. then, as i lost weight, the creaking lessened & then stopped, & so did my daily supplements.
even though i'm pauper broke right now i'm very tempted to take a jaunt over to walgreen's or snyder's & pick up some of those handy-dandy-little-magic-pills to lessen my knee pain. because, i will admit, that i hobbled around most of thursday night, & i'm limping a bit today. then again, the old fashioned "more activity, less weight" may ease up that joint pain too.
blech, isn't it obnoxious how often the answer to a medical problem is "lose weight." i'm getting rather sick of it, & for the record, yeah, i know, i'm fat & need to stop being fat. i get it.
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