a week of doctor's appointments & medications

on monday i just wasn't feeling well so i called my clinic & begged to see my doctor. they managed to squeeze me in on wednesday. even though i had been on cipro since last tuesday, the night i went into urgent care, i just didn't feel like my urinary tract infection was recovering the way it should have. she ran some tests & confirmed what i figured. the good news is my UTI is no longer severe; it's been down graded to mild. the bad news is that in addition to the UTI i managed to get two more infections. jesus bobby. so another 7 day stint for the UTI, then a one dose antibiotic (yippee!), & then a 7 day stint on yet a third antibiotic because there isn't one that kills all three infections. i know. insane.

i had no problem with the one day antibiotic. it was one tiny pill, went down easy, no worries. the other pills have been, um, more difficult. the one for the UTI is a capsule, so pretty easy to swallow, but it is incredibly huge (i'll have to take some pictures, these are the biggest capsules i have ever seen in my life). the kicker is that i have to take it with food. so i have to take the pill with a small sip of water & then eat right away. the other antibiotic is the devil in the form of a pill, i swear to god. this one is also huge, it completely covers the pink part of my fingernail. it's a white tablet (once again, i need to get a picture, biggest tablet i have EVER seen in my life. . .& i handle medications at the group home so i've seen LOTS of meds!). the pill isn't coated & tastes horrible. not only is it the biggest pill on earth it is the nastiest tasting pill ever created. the pharmacist also said it can cause upset stomach so to take it with food. yeah, cause that'll work well.

wednesday night i took the capsule then the tablet then tried to eat & wound up vomiting. somehow i managed to keep the tablet down but lost the capsule. fabulous. thursday was a good day in that i was able to keep my pills down, both morning & night doses. but yesterday was not good at all. the second dose of the tablet didn't go well at all. it upset my stomach so bad that i threw up my dinner & kept gagging & retching until i threw up the entire tablet. not to be overly graphic, but i have never puked that hard in my entire life. i actually threw up so violently that i managed to burst blood vessels in my face around my eyes (above my eyes right under my eye brows & then under my eyes are dotted with small red bruises from the burst vessels). this morning i decided "fuck it" i'll take the capsule, call my doctor's office monday morning & find out if there is ANY other option to the tablet. it is just making me much too sick for me to keep taking it. i have to get my nausea under control & it's really aggravating my
system way too much.

yesterday morning, before the pill incident, i had two follow up appointments at HCMC. one with the internal medicine doctor & one with the dietician. those appointments went ok, but just driving out to minneapolis completely wore me out, not to mention the back to back appointments. the internal medicine dr was concerned about my nausea & lack of energy. he ordered a blood draw to see if they could indicate anything to point to my extreme fatigue.

the dietician is concerned because sometimes the nausea is causing me to skip meals. she wants me to have some slim fast or milk or another liquid meal if i can't eat. even though i'm supposed to be completely on solid foods & off of calorie liquids, she said it's really important for me to make sure i'm getting enough calories in. because i'm not eating any meat yet she also gave me some protein mixes & gave me some tips on how to get more protein into my diet. i really don't want to wind up with a protein deficiency. that would really really suck.

because i was so sick & this was my one month follow up they want to see me back again in a month. normally i'd be at the point where i wouldn't need to see them again until three months from now. i had kind of been telling myself that everyone has a rough time of it & i'm having a normal level of difficult. obviously i've been lying to myself. lying like a cheap rug. the truth is i'm having a much rougher recovery than most people. it sucks, but i'm glad to know that i'm not just being a whiny little bitch.

on the upside, my weight is at 229 according to HCMC (yesterday my home scale said 225). my BMI is officially under 40 which means i'm no longer considered morbidly obese, i'm now simply obese. who knew i'd be happy to be considered obese? but the most exciting news is that when i weighed myself this morning at home my weight was 222. why is this so significant? at my highest weight i was 323. so i've now officially lost over 100 pounds! 101 to be exact! while the surgery has contributed to that quite a bit, i had lost & kept off a little over 60 lbs on my own. it is such a monumental moment for me. according to HCMC i have a ways to go yet, they've figured my ideal weight to be around 137, but all of this is really now virgin territory to me. the lowest i'd ever been in my adult life was 229 prior to this. other than that, the lowest weight i remember being was 180 when i was 14.

i'm still not sure that i feel like i've lost that much weight. i still can't really tell the difference in my clothes, which makes me wonder if i was just wearing everything really fucking tight before. but other people can see the difference. jenn & crystal took me to trader joe's today (field trip!) & they both said they could see the difference. it's nice to get the external validation from other people. i'm sure in the weeks to come i'll see the differences myself. & i'll get some updated pics taken to post here.

damn bronchitis: i spit in your general direction

so, i'm a very sad panda right now *pouts* i was, at this exact moment, supposed to be in a rental car cruising my way towards yosemite, or possibly at the front desk of a hotel checking in late after leaving LAX & heading in the general direction of yosemite, with my fabulous pal julian, fellow burner. instead, i'm coughing & trying with all my might to convince my lungs that they really are happy inside my body & there is no need to jump ship & battling a severe case of acidy stomach brought on by the generic robitussin with codeine prescribed to suppress the a fore mentioned cough.

no, i'm not bitter. not at all.

ok, well, maybe a little bitter. i was diagnosed with the bronchitis last week thursday when i spent some time in urgent care. fabulous. the doc put me through my paces including an EKG & a chest xray because i made the mistake of saying the chest pressure & breathing problems set in the night before after my workout. . . .i did tell her i knew it was bronchitis, but she must have had to CYA so my family couldn't sue if i dropped dead later. so i was sent on my way with antibiotics, told to stay away from the gym for a while, take it easy, have a cookie, you'll be fine in no time.

right.

so on tuesday afternoon at the end of my shift at work i suddenly got dizzy, light headed, lost my balance & nearly fell over. jenn had to drive me to urgent care. she then sat with me. & sat. & sat. & sat. we waited so long generations of fruit flies were born, died, & reincarnated. examination & blood tests later, the conclusion: a virus causing my cough, related to the bronchitis, was causing the symptoms. more meds for the cough. an order to start eating & drinking (since i hadn't felt much like either over the previous days) & an offer for a note to get out of work later & i was off for a mc-crack before heading home.

before my tuesday urgent care visit i really thought i would make it to LA. i was even hopeful wednesday, even though julian was super concerned that i would keel over on the way to yosemite & he'd be stuck driving my corpse to the nearest hospital & then frantically convincing the authorities that i really did die of natural causes. meanwhile, back in the bat cave in minnesota, april was concerned that if i went to LA i would wind up hospitalized next week. . .which could have been the case, the world will never know. yesterday though *sighs* i knew i wouldn't make it. i barely made it through the day at work. i almost passed out driving home because i was so exhausted. so i officially told julian i wouldn't make it, canceled my ticket, & cried a little bit. ok, not really on the crying, but i did a pretty good pout & wanted to cry.

in the end i guess it's ok that i'm home this weekend. i do need the rest. & i don't plan on doing a damn thing more than i abso-fucking-lutely have to over the next 48hrs. & i plan on spending as much time passed out, er, sleeping, as possible. or at least in bed with bad tv on in the background curled up with a book. i have class monday, which, i thought i was going to miss because i wasn't scheduled to land in MSP until tuesday morning, so i have to make sure i get my stuff done for class. & i feel like a first class ASS cause i told my prof i wouldn't be in class, i had to even switch project days with someone because i thought i was going to be gone. BUT, i'm going to be in town with no reason to miss class, & with as much as i pay for school i should drag my butt to campus & get my money's worth, right? right.

so that's my life right now. but it's all good. it's all a learning experience right? & i'll make it to yosemite another time. maybe i'm meant to win the power ball tomorrow night? i better get out of my jammies & into jeans long enough to go get a ticket. in the mean time, i think i'll listen to a bit more spill canvas & pass out for the night.

momma needs a new pair of boots! & other tales

i have taken a blog vacation. not necessicarily willingly, as per my last blog, i've been sick. & not just the sniffles & a little tummy ache, but the full blown i'm-so-sick-i'm-bargaining-with-god-to-heal-me-or-put-me-out-of-my-freakin-misery-sick. i don't get sick like that often, thankfully, but this one was a doozie. i'm actually still pretty weak. it was not a pretty sight at weight lifting yesterday morning. i was very uncoordinated & barely able to pick up anything, at times not even my own feet! & the cardio has been rough too. i'm ready to die & throw in the towel after a minute & a half.

but i'm diligently taking my vitamin C, drinking my water & doing everything i can to get myself back in my fighting form: squishy.

have i mentioned that i LOATHE being sick? i mean, i know that no one, except hypochondriacs, really likes being sick. but i just am so upset at this whole illness thing. just when i was doing well with my workouts & my eating i get slammed with a virus & knocked down flat on the floor. ack! & it's something completely & totally out of my control. there's nothing i can really do to speed things up other than, rest, drink water, & wait. seriously, how passive is that?

the only real upbeat news that i have is that i ordered some boots on monday from the doc marten website. they sent me a 25% off coupon in my email & i decided i was for damn sure going to take advantage of it. *grins* so i bought my birthday boots, some funky pink leather boots, & some everyday kickin it boots. so, i'm currently stalking them via the internet on the ups tracking site. & i'm hoping that they get to my doorstep & in my hot little hands & on my feet early!

thank god for halls & their mentholyptic goodness

OY. & a double OY!

i am sick. & i have being sick. i get all whiny & turn into a five year old. wanting nothing more than my mommy, some chicken noodle soup, a pb&j sandwich, my teddy bear, & my warm fuzzy blanket.

& so i sit, at work. sans mommy, soup,sandwich, bear, & blankie. it blows. hardcore. but i have 7up. & i have halls. not at all the same. in any world. but it's something. a few minutes ago i wasn't even able to breath. but thanks to halls & their advanced vapor action, i am now able to breath much easier. even though i feel like crap. warmed over. still.

i know that no one LOVES being sick, unless they're a hypochondriac, because then, they think they're sick even if they're really ok. which is a completely different story. all together.

but this really sucks. about half the call center is sick. the other half is just getting over being sick, or just now getting sick. i swear, this whole place is like one big petri dish growing lots of different scary bugs. & i'm neurotic about hand washing & everything else. & some how a germ made its way into my immune system & created a nice little nest in which to settle for a while. damn him!

the worst part of it is, that i'm not really sick enough to stay home. but i'm sick enough that i don't want to be at work & i don't feel like i'm at the top of my game at work either. blech.

i'll check in tomorrow with less whining & more sunshine.