thought of the week december 9-15th

~note: this blog was originally started on december 14th, 2007~

oh mirror in the sky, what is love? can the child within my heart rise above? can I sail through the changing ocean tides can I handle the seasons of my life? mmm mmm I don’t know, mmm mmm. . . but time makes you bolder, children get older, I’m getting older too ~ stevie nicks landslide

this song has had a special place in my heart for oh, four years now? i went to a dixie chicks concert with tina in the summer of 2003, i want to say it was june, but i can't recall off hand. i just know that it was summer. & i think it was before my nephew was born. which would be june or early july. not like the exact month makes much difference. so it was at the concert that i realized that i was not at all at a good place in my life. i was still seeing TSSOB at the time, & i was not happy in the relationship or doing what i wanted to do with my life.

all of this hit me suddenly while at the concert during the dixie chicks rendition of "landslide." it's also been a song that i turn to time after time when i need a soundtrack to think. something to help me focus as my thoughts swirl around me like a F5 tornado. this song is the thing that helps ground me & gives me something to hold onto.

so this song has come up again recently for me. i've been listening to it, the smashing pumpkins version mostly, & once again it helps me think. i'm not even sure where i'm going with this, except that once again i'm finding myself in that place of flux.

i'm also finding that life is very cyclical. i've recently started hanging out again with people that i first met back in 2004. not that i haven't had any contact with them since then, but we're just talking more now than we have since we first met. it's also sort of weird because of the changes that have happened in the past three years. so i'm finding myself in a similar place to where i was three years ago, but it's like i'm there with a better map of my surroundings.