& my buns, they don't feel nuthin' like steel

name that movie quote for a half a million brownie points.

on my lunch i did the stairs at work, again. supposedly if you use stairs it helps get your butt firmed & lifted up, somewhat similar to all those butt videos out there. granted, this is only the second day in a row that i've done the whole set of stairs at work, but i've been doing other glute work & still no visible results. i am still doing the ass checks. so i've felt my butt & it's not resembling steel to me, but who knows, it might to someone else. now my dear boy is not reading this blog, so he won't get this request. i'm thinking of getting someone to feel my posterior & tell me if it's getting firmer at all.

yeah, that may be asking a lot of a friend, i'm not sure that friendship goes that far. i know that jenn wouldn't do my ass check for me, so there's no way she'll do a feel test to see if my jello-esq booty is becoming less jiggly & more solid. so do i have anyone in the audience that could assist me with this? my preference is a friend, someone that i already know. i mean, it'd be simply fabulous if jack would do this for me, but i'm slightly miffed he's not reading my blog. not like i'm holding a grudge or anything, but seriously guys, i'm a writer & my fiance isn't reading my writing. that just isn't right, no matter what the color of the sky is in your world.

i also did a long workout again today. two whole days in a row, wow, add a third one & we can have the start of a bonifide roll. obviously i can't do the stairs on the weekends, but as my video shelf can corroborate that i have more than enough exercise dvds & vhs to work out everyday for a few hours at home without becoming bored. weekends can just be the death of workouts & good eating habits. it seems like the weekends are typically a time to relax, chill out, chillax, whatever. a time to give yourself a rest from work & structure & all that jazz. for me that usually involves booze & something yummy with lots of melted cheese & of course, dessert. then monday comes around & i feel so incredibly shitty because i goofed off all weekend, ate crap food & didn't do any more activity than was absolutely required of me.

it's friday evening, quitting time for most people, i still have another three hours & forty minutes, & my second break left of my working day. i do work at the group home all weekend, so i'm going to use that as an excuse for why i won't be doing a couple hours of exercise each day this weekend. but i'll set a modest goal. 30 minutes, or more, each day of some kind of exercise. even just walking the puppy on a meandering stroll counts because it's keeping me out of the house & away from the cookies.

i've talked with some of my friends that have the same issue. they've been perfect angels all week, watching what they eat, getting all their water in, working out for at least 30 minutes each day, & then the weekend hits, out comes the jag-bombs & it's the top of a nice slip&slide weekend of my two favorite sins, gluttony & sloth. why must alcohol be such a diet no-no? i like my booze. it gives me a nice warm fuzzy feeling. & it makes karaoke possible for most of the free world. but i also know that my favorite drink what happens in vegas stays in vegas is wickedly bad for me caloricly, so it's best to just say no. eeek! does this mean i'm agreeing with nancy reagan?!

speaking of body parts which are not steel, i'm still having issue with my mitendorfs. (see blog re-frickin-dic-u-lous, seriously for definition) my entire twenty minutes of weight lifting this morning was concentrated on my upper arms, specifically that flappity-flap-flap part. i do know that it's the hardest part of the body to firm up, it's not like i'm new to this whole rodeo, gang. will it actually help firm those up if i do an hour of upper body each day? i'm serious, i could commit to an hour a day if it meant that my upper arms didn't look like they were two feet wide & filled with chunky pudding anymore. but would that intensity be beneficial or harmful?

give it time. to that statement i give a big wet raspberry. i'm sick of giving it time. time is something i just don't have enough of. & why does it have to be so fucking hard? i mean, most of the world is not fat. most of them can just sit down to eat & not agonize over every single forkful. & frankly, it's not fun anymore. if it wasn't for the fact that i get violently ill when i don't eat often enough i most likely wouldn't bother. too much of my day is spent thinking about food, planning what i'll buy, what i'll eat, counting the seconds until that next break when i can get something to nibble. somehow i've developed a very dysfunctional relationship when it comes to food. i have admitted this in an addict comes clean. & yeah yeah yeah, admitting you have a problem is the first step. well i've admitted it & i'm not feeling any better. like i've said before, if i was a junkie i could be tossed in rehab, detoxed, & come out with a chance. what the hell do you do with a food addict? it feels like i'm set up to fail, cause i can't quit it & i can't get the help i need.