happy easter!

i'd like to wish everyone a very happy easter (or if you don't celebrate easter then a very happy sunday march 23rd). i spent this weekend at my parents' house to celebrate with them, ya know, do the whole family thing. i was even a good daughter & went to church with my mom & sister this morning. did the catholic calisthenics. not like i have anything against catholics or anything, it's just a lot of up/down/up/down/up/down. we were in the "bad monkey" overflow section
because we got there so late all the pews were taken, so luckily we didn't have to do any kneeling because we didn't have the padded kneelers in front of us. in addition we got to see all of the interesting goings on of the church hallway during the services. there are a whole lot of little kids that run up & down, going to the bathroom or just getting out some extra energy while the rest of the parishioners go about their worship.

it's been a rather good day here at the family homestead. my mom made us caramel apple french toast & bacon for breakfast. & for dinner she's making tator tot hotdish. usually on easter she'd make a ham & some kind of potatoes & some sort of veggie. kind of a large dig in kind of meal. but she decided to opt for tator tot hotdish this year, partially because i may not be able to eat the ham, but i'm more likely to be able to eat the hotdish. *crossing my fingers*

yesterday i ate about 1/6 a piece of bacon. it did make me a bit sick, but i kept it down. & then this morning i was able to eat a whole slice of bacon! i was so happy i almost did a dance. it's an easter miracle. i know it seems silly to some people. but i was starting to worry that i was going to be a vegetarian for ever & it was making me super sad. i honestly believe that i'm not eating healthy unless i have dead animal on my plate twice a day. today may be a good day if i'm able to eat the tator tot hotdish tonight.

not much else to say today. gonna watch spaceballs & head home to the west end of the cities after dinner. hope it was a fabulous day & the easter bunny was good to you (or that at least there are no rotting hard boiled eggs in your yard).

happy st. patrick's day!

*even though a papal decree moved the official st. paddy's celebration to this past saturday i'm celebrating today, yeah, i'm a rebel like that*

i'd thought about taking a picture of myself wearing one of my st. patrick's day tshirts (one is white with green trim that says magically delicious the other is white with green trim has a pic of the lucky charms leprechaun and says someone's after me lucky charms). but, to be honest, once i got back to my apartment from my parents' house & unloaded my car i was ready for a nap.

maybe i'll take one later this week & post it. but if i don't: hope everyone had a fabulous day & got a chance to drink some green beer. have a bit for me too cause i'm off the beer. didn't really drink it before, but definitely not drinking it now.

santa baby: a letter to santa

dear santa,

i know it's the last minute, with you well on your way & christmas having arrived in other places around the world already, but i hope i'm not too late, & please, just keep in mind, this wish is just for some time in 2008. i'd appreciate sooner rather than later, but i know i can't be pushy.

my christmas wish is for a boy. a super crazy smart boy, who's beautiful to boot. someone who loves the fact that i'm a writer & is willing to support me in the insane venture of becoming published. if he's artistic that would be a wonderful surprise, especially if he's a writer too, but not at all necessary.

he needs to be loving, sympathetic, generous, honorable, loyal, passionate, sensual, & confident. he should be close to his family & his friends. & he understands that i'm close to my family & friends. he needs to have his own life & can't expect me to drop mine just because he requests it. he wants to be independent with me (if that makes any sense at all).

my christmas boy should love me, pamper me, worship me, but all well within the normal bounds expected by any princess. he thinks it's cute that i have enough ego for three people but he also knows that i am generous, loving, compassionate. he knows that i'm the first one there to help when any of my friends really needs me.

i want a boy with goals, with drive, with ambition coming out his ears. someone who strives to make something of himself, of his life. someone who is NOT content to be pastel. a boy who wants to go to burning man if he hasn't already, cares about the impact he's making on the environment, knows what trader joe's is & shops there. he buys organic because it tastes better. supports local businesses. he's like me: both a yuppie & a hippie (he's a yippie).

my boy likes to work out & thinks it would be great to go to the gym with me. he encourages me to try new activities & shows an interest in my hobbies. he likes the art museum & the science museum & traveling. but he also likes those lazy nights on occasion, curled up together on the couch watching a bad movie, or a good movie, or a really good/bad movie.

he wants to, one day, have kids, but not right away. & when, in the future, we have kids. he wants to raise them as i do: globally. our kids will have passports as babies. they'll be multilingual & understand that our country is just one little corner of the big world. our kids will be like us: bright, vibrant people, not in anyway pastel.

i don't expect a prince charming with no flaws. i just want someone who will compliment me. someone who i want to see morning after morning before either of us has brushed our teeth.
i want a boy who challenges me & makes me think. someone to curl up with & listen to the thunderstorms.

so santa, that's my christmas wish this year. in the past i've wished on every star, eyelash, and pinch of salt. picked out the fortunes without breaking the cookie. done it all, & decided it's time to go to the big guy on this wish. so i don't expect him naked under my christmas tree with a big red bow. while that would be lovely i think it'd freak the fuck right out of my parents & siblings. if you'd like to deliver him christmas day i'll sign by the X & accept the delivery, but i'll look for him later in the year.

thanks much,

beckah

ps: i left you pineapple juice & rum, help yourself to the leftovers in the fridge. i figure you've had enough cookies for one bloody night.

happy halloween!

i hope everyone had a great halloween. i wasn't able to post yesterday, but here's some pics of me in my costume & then me with my new ear piercing. cheers!

happy valentine's day

now have a chocolate.

just kidding :) but that was the message at work today. the building i work in has really great facilities managers who like to make sure that we know they appreciate us being their tenants. which is awesome, except, it seems that anytime they can possibly have a reason to feed out fat faces, they do so.

today, in the break room there were trays upon trays of: cookies, brownies, mini cheese cakes, chocolate dipped strawberries, brownie bites, & lots of other decedent sweet goodies. which, i'm proud to say, i avoided all together.

i even went out with jenn tonight to see the new drew barrymore/hugh grant movie "music & lyrics" & even though i was jonsing for one of those big boxes of resee's pieces, i sufficed with a watered down mocha coffee from the vending machine, but it was still all good. the coffee warmed me up, gave me a little bit of sweet, but i didn't feel massively guilty for inhaling a thousand calories of candy coated peanut butter chocolate.

holiday hangover

i think i ingested five & a half pounds of sugar over the past two days. my tummy is pretending it's a sailor & tying itself in knots, my blood is slogging through my body laden down with the sugar crystals, & my head is heavy & fuzzy, & all i wanna do is sleep.

oh holy hell i feel like crap!

& here i swore i'd never do that to myself again. never again would i stuff my face so full of food that i felt hung over the next day from the excess, & yet, oops, i did it again. except without the pop soundtrack, skimpy clothes, or suggestive dance.

what is it about christmas, or any holiday for that matter, that makes us not only feel it's ok to over indulge, but makes us feel entitled to gorge ourselves past our limits?

i won't do this to myself on new years eve, i guar-en-tee it.

merry christmas!

it's december 25th again & all over people are celebrating christmas. for each person christmas means a different thing. for some it really is a true religious celebration. for some it's all about the gifts & getting that perfect gift (how many people elbowed old ladies this year to get their hands on a wii?) & for some it's just an annoying day that all the stores are closed & you can't even get a big mac at mickey d's.

for me, christmas is about family. unfortunately, most christmases my dad has to work, 8am-4pm, which sucks, a lot. then again, there have been quite a few years that i had to work on christmas day also. the gifts are nice, don't get me wrong. but in a way i'm more excited about giving to my family, seeing their faces when they open those packages that i put so much time into picking out, & not so much time into wrapping.

right now it's 2:30pm & all over america kids are blissed out from playing with their new presents, tvs have wii controls embedded in them, & adults are half schnockered from too much egg nog. & here at my house, we have tbs' 24 hours of a christmas story on the boob tube, the dog is wandering around looking confused, my brother just woke up & is in the shower, my sister is plotting her day after christmas sales plan, my mom is making a sandwich, & i'm curled up with my laptop & my cleo cat. all of us waiting on four o'clock when my dad will be home & we can really start enjoying the holiday.

my fondest memories of christmas from when i was young is the look on my dad's face when my mom would show up at his work, with all of us kids, bags stuffed with sandwich meat, dollar buns, chips, cookies, kuchen, cans of pop, & vhs tapes with our favorite christmas movies. & we'd invade my dad's work for a few hours, eating a christmas lunch, talking, watching movies, drinking hot cocoa. & it made his day just a little bit better.

no matter what you are doing today, i hope your day is good, that you get at least a small christmas miracle.

& a very happy halloween to you all

no holiday candy for me, ok, well, i lied, i had ONE small jellied spider 'cause it looked black so i thought it was licorice, WOOT, turns out it was just grape, lame. i mean, it was ok, but definitely not worth it in the end. & there is a lesson in that, when craving pure black licorice, go to the source, don't mess around with what may or may not be actual licorice candy.

biggest challenge of the day for moi would have to be the ginormous sheet cake that sat next to the printer today, carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. i did resist it, but just barely, i walked by it several times gazing at the box so tempted for just one little tiny nibble, but i did resist. & no, i don't really feel any better about myself for resisting. i know that i should, but here's the thing, in a way i have such a long ways to go before i'm remotely satisfied with my body again that passing up one little damn piece of carrot cake is not going to make me step out in the aisles & dance to brass monkey. not today.


so another halloween is nearly gone & it was, over all, a rather big bust for me. no parties, no apple bobbing, no pole dancing contests, no egging or tp-ing of anything, just an hour of over time & then going home to watch some bad cable tv.

but at least i got to look vicious at work: