checking my blog i feel rather chagrined and fairly ashamed of the fact that it's been nearly six months since i've blogged. that's a whole half a year. sheesh. yes, there's a whole pile of shame and guilt that goes with that. then again. i tend to have massive piles of guilt and shame associated with a lot of things in my life. so, honestly, that is nothing new.
the past six months have been filled with lots of changes for me. most notably i met a WONDERFUL man that i am totally head over heels in love with. i did make him work hard for it too. it would be an understatement to say that i kept him at arm's length. it was more like arms length plus a dozen or so feet. but he persisted, and gave me my space at the same time, and now we're happily cohabiting with our eleven ferrets.
yes, eleven ferrets. see. i had eight. he had two when he met me. then after meeting me he picked up a third one, so 8+2+1=11. eleven ferrets also equals a fair amount of insanity at our house. there's also a fair amount of poop that goes along with eleven ferrets. but also lots of love, cuddles, dooking, and joy.
so what is this young man's name? well, if you befriend me on facebook you'll know cause we're listed as "in a relationship," or if you talk to me, text me, or stalk me (yes YOU, i saw you in the bushes last night! btw, pick up your PBR cans, we don't want that shit in our yard. please & thank you). but, for now, in blog world, i'll call him fry. i do sometimes call him that in person, and he is cool with that. so we'll see.
let's see. what else. um. i'm vitamin d insufficient. go me. supposed to be at 20 or above and mine is a single digit. and that digit is NOT a 9. but working on that. working on beating my eating disorder into submission. working on staying hydrated. just got back from a weekend trip to the apostle islands with a group from the emily program (where i go for my therapy). the trip was awesome. i'll post more about that along with the poem that i wrote as a result of the trip. um, also working on thesis. working on just in general getting my shit together. so. for now. i'm back to blogging. i've missed it terribly and hope that not ALL my blog readers have forgotten me.
lots of love,
beckah
Showing posts with label cute boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cute boys. Show all posts
Friday, July 16, 2010
Saturday, August 16, 2008
intimate details part two: romance & the writer
so i've got a boyfriend. i've mentioned him in bits & pieces here on my blog. & i may as well flesh out the details for those of you that i haven't been able to tell in person, via text IM or email. now, because of who he is i'm not going to go into a lot of details, i'm not even going to mention him by first name on here, just as E.
so i met E on okcupid back in late april, we chatted for a day or so, then started texting (which wound up resulting in well over 200 texts in less than a week!). we had our first date on may 1st & then had a total of five dates over just seven days. basically we met & became nearly inseparable (my blog so my telling of the story, if he disagrees with any of this maybe we'll see a comment *grins* but i am telling the truth). so it's going on about three & a half months now that we've been dating.
he's two years older than me & about a foot taller. he's really smart, sweet, funny, talented, cute as hell, & all around a good egg. he challenges me on basically EVERYTHING & won't let me get away with any bullshit. which is awesome & infuriating because i'm used to being the one that challenges people, i'm not used to being challenged myself. he's also super sweet & loving.
he's met my family & is still dating me after doing so. my parents like him. today when matt stopped by my apartment to visit he even asked how E was doing! which had me gobsmacked & nearly speechless. matt must like him & approve, although he hasn't said anything to me about it. rachee hasn't met him because she was in milwaukee for my birthday when he met the fam at my apartment for my birthday dinner. my parents actually took us out to dinner friday night, the night before they went up north.
E is a really talented artist. he's a painter & comic book artist. he also does some freelance work on the side. it's because of all this that i'm not mentioning him by name. don't try looking for a link to his work in my "links of interest" because i'm not putting one there. he likes to keep his private life very separate from his public life, which i understand & respect. he is kind of a big deal. which is really awesome for him.
i haven't really felt any impact from his work except for his being unavailable at times due to it. the summer is his busy season & i started dating him right as his work really kicked into high gear. i support him in this because i know it's important that he work & the more work he does the more exposure he gets so that he'll be able to do just his art & give up teaching. although, i think he sort of likes teaching & probably would keep doing it....but he'll be able to demand more money once he gets super uber well known. things will settle down for him over the fall & winter, then start picking up again in the spring. interestingly enough, it's the EXACT opposite of how health insurance works. but my hours are pretty set, unlike his.
have i mentioned he's also super sweet? he looks out for me. when we were at dinner with my parents he encouraged me to eat more chicken because he knows that i need to make sure to eat enough protein. when we go out he holds my hand, or puts his arm around me while we're walking. he's also really supportive with my novel. when i've been a bit down/doubting if i can do this he simply tells me "you can do it." no cajoling or codling, just a statement. he knows that i write poetry & for my birthday he gave me a book of poetry by federico garcia lorca, with both the spanish & english versions of the poems. one day about a month ago in one of his classes he was demonstrating painting portraits & he did a portrait of the same poet. & he gave it to me instead of selling it. not for any reason, it wasn't my birthday, a holiday, or anniversary. he gave it to me just because he thought i'd like it. & i absolutely adore it!
to sum up: beckah's pretty dang twitterpatted.
so i met E on okcupid back in late april, we chatted for a day or so, then started texting (which wound up resulting in well over 200 texts in less than a week!). we had our first date on may 1st & then had a total of five dates over just seven days. basically we met & became nearly inseparable (my blog so my telling of the story, if he disagrees with any of this maybe we'll see a comment *grins* but i am telling the truth). so it's going on about three & a half months now that we've been dating.
he's two years older than me & about a foot taller. he's really smart, sweet, funny, talented, cute as hell, & all around a good egg. he challenges me on basically EVERYTHING & won't let me get away with any bullshit. which is awesome & infuriating because i'm used to being the one that challenges people, i'm not used to being challenged myself. he's also super sweet & loving.
he's met my family & is still dating me after doing so. my parents like him. today when matt stopped by my apartment to visit he even asked how E was doing! which had me gobsmacked & nearly speechless. matt must like him & approve, although he hasn't said anything to me about it. rachee hasn't met him because she was in milwaukee for my birthday when he met the fam at my apartment for my birthday dinner. my parents actually took us out to dinner friday night, the night before they went up north.
E is a really talented artist. he's a painter & comic book artist. he also does some freelance work on the side. it's because of all this that i'm not mentioning him by name. don't try looking for a link to his work in my "links of interest" because i'm not putting one there. he likes to keep his private life very separate from his public life, which i understand & respect. he is kind of a big deal. which is really awesome for him.
i haven't really felt any impact from his work except for his being unavailable at times due to it. the summer is his busy season & i started dating him right as his work really kicked into high gear. i support him in this because i know it's important that he work & the more work he does the more exposure he gets so that he'll be able to do just his art & give up teaching. although, i think he sort of likes teaching & probably would keep doing it....but he'll be able to demand more money once he gets super uber well known. things will settle down for him over the fall & winter, then start picking up again in the spring. interestingly enough, it's the EXACT opposite of how health insurance works. but my hours are pretty set, unlike his.
have i mentioned he's also super sweet? he looks out for me. when we were at dinner with my parents he encouraged me to eat more chicken because he knows that i need to make sure to eat enough protein. when we go out he holds my hand, or puts his arm around me while we're walking. he's also really supportive with my novel. when i've been a bit down/doubting if i can do this he simply tells me "you can do it." no cajoling or codling, just a statement. he knows that i write poetry & for my birthday he gave me a book of poetry by federico garcia lorca, with both the spanish & english versions of the poems. one day about a month ago in one of his classes he was demonstrating painting portraits & he did a portrait of the same poet. & he gave it to me instead of selling it. not for any reason, it wasn't my birthday, a holiday, or anniversary. he gave it to me just because he thought i'd like it. & i absolutely adore it!
to sum up: beckah's pretty dang twitterpatted.
Monday, January 28, 2008
evidently a name tag is in order
these are the names/nicknames that i answer to: rebecca, beckah, becks, beck, becker, beckers, b, jeckah, jecks, becky (but ONLY at the group home), chica, princess, angel, sweetie, hun, honey, goddess, & kitten.
no where in the above list is the name cassie.
so friday night i went out with a friend of mine Q (the name has been changed to protect the innocent, er, the guilty, er, well, to keep the boy from blushing redder than rudolph on christmas eve). so Q is a friend of mine who just so happens to be a boy. & we're pretty good friends. we're sort of friends with some extra benefits. (is everyone reading between the lines here?) ok, so Q & i sometimes get nekkid & have some fun. he's a boy. he's my friend. but he's not a boyfriend.
i had a really rough week last week (more on that to come in a subsequent post), so Q & i went to see a movie & then we just kinda talked. it was really nice being able to hang out & kind of just talk & have someone listen without judging what i was saying or telling me how i should be feeling. like i said, it's been a rough few days, especially the closer my move date & my surgery get.
so at one point we're talking & Q tells me this story about how this other girl that he's seeing (one again, are we all on the same PAGE?) accidentally said, er moaned, someone else's name during a not very cool moment. yeah, awkward. i'll be honest, i felt bad for the boy because that is a horribly sucky & super uncomfortable situation. i'm guessing. i, for one, have never said the wrong name in that kind of position, nor have i been called the wrong name in that situation. so yeah, felt bad for the boy.
a few minutes later i wound up telling him that after the last time we "hung out" i woke up with a really odd bruise that i couldn't figure out how it got there. the conversation went something like this:
Q: do you bruise easily or are you anemic?
me: sometimes i bruise easily, but i'm not anemic.
Q: are you sure it wasn't a hickey?
me (with an eyeroll): it was a bruise. i think i know the difference between a bruise & a hickey.
Q (after a pause clapped his hands & said in a funny voice): i gave cassie a bruise.
me (not really believing my ears): what did you say?
Q: nothing
me: what did you say?
Q: what do you think i said?
me (grasping at straws): um, "i give gas and bruises"?
Q: no
me: what did you say
so this went on for a bit & i'll save you all of the back & forth, but the upshot was, the boy DID INDEED say "i gave cassie a bruise." now, as is evidenced by my name/nickname list above, cassie is not a name i go by. & he did mean to say "i gave beckah a bruise."
yup, kinda a fucker face thing to say considering i'd been an emotional wreck all week & barely resisting the urge to cry most days. & then the fact that i was crying before he picked me up. & at the beginning of the movie (& it was a horror movie for god's sake). but i didn't let him see me crying in the movie. so given how upset i'd been for a while you'd think this would've pushed me straight over the fucking brink & caused me to start really bawling. but it didn't. somehow, all i could do was kinda laugh at the whole thing.
now that doesn't mean that i didn't tease him about it. & here's the debate: Q says it'd be worse if we'd both been semi clothed & he called me the wrong name. i say it's worse when there's no fooling around because at least with fooling around you can claim temporary insanity from ecstasy. fully clothed just talking & no hanky panky at all & there's no excuse.
he asked if it made a difference that he'd just hung out with her recently. i told him nope didn't make a difference or make it better. & my rationale is that he'd been hanging out with me for the past few hours before he called me by the wrong name. so, i'm taking votes, which is worse? to be called the wrong name in the middle of flagrante delecto? or when taking emotional shelter in a friend?
i'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made up, black with hot pink across my tits with my name on it. possibly with glitter. maybe then there won't be confusion? or maybe it's just another way for me to get attention focused on my boobs. only time will tell.
no where in the above list is the name cassie.
so friday night i went out with a friend of mine Q (the name has been changed to protect the innocent, er, the guilty, er, well, to keep the boy from blushing redder than rudolph on christmas eve). so Q is a friend of mine who just so happens to be a boy. & we're pretty good friends. we're sort of friends with some extra benefits. (is everyone reading between the lines here?) ok, so Q & i sometimes get nekkid & have some fun. he's a boy. he's my friend. but he's not a boyfriend.
i had a really rough week last week (more on that to come in a subsequent post), so Q & i went to see a movie & then we just kinda talked. it was really nice being able to hang out & kind of just talk & have someone listen without judging what i was saying or telling me how i should be feeling. like i said, it's been a rough few days, especially the closer my move date & my surgery get.
so at one point we're talking & Q tells me this story about how this other girl that he's seeing (one again, are we all on the same PAGE?) accidentally said, er moaned, someone else's name during a not very cool moment. yeah, awkward. i'll be honest, i felt bad for the boy because that is a horribly sucky & super uncomfortable situation. i'm guessing. i, for one, have never said the wrong name in that kind of position, nor have i been called the wrong name in that situation. so yeah, felt bad for the boy.
a few minutes later i wound up telling him that after the last time we "hung out" i woke up with a really odd bruise that i couldn't figure out how it got there. the conversation went something like this:
Q: do you bruise easily or are you anemic?
me: sometimes i bruise easily, but i'm not anemic.
Q: are you sure it wasn't a hickey?
me (with an eyeroll): it was a bruise. i think i know the difference between a bruise & a hickey.
Q (after a pause clapped his hands & said in a funny voice): i gave cassie a bruise.
me (not really believing my ears): what did you say?
Q: nothing
me: what did you say?
Q: what do you think i said?
me (grasping at straws): um, "i give gas and bruises"?
Q: no
me: what did you say
so this went on for a bit & i'll save you all of the back & forth, but the upshot was, the boy DID INDEED say "i gave cassie a bruise." now, as is evidenced by my name/nickname list above, cassie is not a name i go by. & he did mean to say "i gave beckah a bruise."
yup, kinda a fucker face thing to say considering i'd been an emotional wreck all week & barely resisting the urge to cry most days. & then the fact that i was crying before he picked me up. & at the beginning of the movie (& it was a horror movie for god's sake). but i didn't let him see me crying in the movie. so given how upset i'd been for a while you'd think this would've pushed me straight over the fucking brink & caused me to start really bawling. but it didn't. somehow, all i could do was kinda laugh at the whole thing.
now that doesn't mean that i didn't tease him about it. & here's the debate: Q says it'd be worse if we'd both been semi clothed & he called me the wrong name. i say it's worse when there's no fooling around because at least with fooling around you can claim temporary insanity from ecstasy. fully clothed just talking & no hanky panky at all & there's no excuse.
he asked if it made a difference that he'd just hung out with her recently. i told him nope didn't make a difference or make it better. & my rationale is that he'd been hanging out with me for the past few hours before he called me by the wrong name. so, i'm taking votes, which is worse? to be called the wrong name in the middle of flagrante delecto? or when taking emotional shelter in a friend?
i'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made up, black with hot pink across my tits with my name on it. possibly with glitter. maybe then there won't be confusion? or maybe it's just another way for me to get attention focused on my boobs. only time will tell.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
my milkshake, er, bandana?
after work today i got all changed into my work out clothes, put my bandana in my hair & was leaving the building when this guy who never says anything to me even though i always smile & say hi gave me this huge smile & said something along the lines of "you have yourself a good night."so when i got out to my car i realized i couldn't find my ipod. i was not too happy, mentally dropped an f-bomb & everything. went back into work to check my desk for it. on my way back into the building i passed by two guys, both so hot you just bite your lip & go mmm-mmm-mmm. & with each of them they gave me a HUGE smile said good night/good bye in some fashion & went on their way. now, yes, on the one hand, maybe they were just being polite? but seriously, their mouths were saying good night, but their eyes were saying hey baby, you look bendy. true story.
now, i'll be honest. by this time, i was a bit freaked out that i had nipple showing or something that i couldn't see. i did a covert full body check & i seemed to be properly covered. who knew yoga pants & a black&white camo bandana brought out the randy in boys? so, this is now my new favorite bandana cause evidently it makes boys drool. hard core.
&, i love this picture of me cause, well, i look totally hot in it.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
the cute boy litmus test
last night jenn & i made our some what triumphant return to the Y after being gone from the gym for a little over two weeks. part of our motivation being that we both feel like crap after stuffing our gobs with cookies, fudge, gravy fries, alcohol, & such until we thought we would actually literally burst. & then part of it is that challenge number two rolled around & she & i have some serious competition this time around & we need to kick some serious tail this time around! when we strolled into the Y, ok, jenn strolled, i was more like waddling into the Y, there was only one elliptical free, which i graciously told miss jenn to take, only to have another open up ten seconds later, so i was ellipticalling in no time at all. when people say it's a whole lot harder to start something again after quitting, they are so not lying! yesterday i almost died on the elliptical, seriously. jenn was so close to having to post me on mydealthspace & then attending my funeral. but luckily, i drank some water, counted down the seconds, & didn't fall on my face as i dismounted the elliptical. face planting in the Y is definietly not a good thing.
i walked by jenn's elliptical as my legs did their impression of jello, she was breezily gliding on the elliptical with another 27minutes to go, she was doing an hour. the chubi. seriously, love her to death, but wanted to punch her square in the balls because i was there hyperventilating & she was breathing normally & looking decidedly NOT sweaty. she offered to leave early for me, & s grunted that nah, i should really do some time on the treadmill.
as i walked to the back of the gym to the nice brand-new-just-arrived-after-thanksgiving treadmills i noticed a boy. correction. a hot boy. & then i had this awful image of this dark haired beauty running & watching my jiggly ass in my black leggings bounce around & laughing so hard that he trips & is shot straight into the wall. no way was i going to be responsible for that. so i went to the back row on treadmills, an old guy is short-shorts between me & the beauty.
but then i started doubting myself. cause my cute boy radar has been quite dodgy lately, i’ve been declaring males hot who were showing up as a definite not. & i was seriously wishing jenn was next to me so i could get her spot on opinion of the dark haired possible hottie. i was still dutifully plodding along on my treadmill at a whopping 2.2 miles per hour with a everest like incline of 3.0 when the hottie jumped off the treadmill & went to lift weights.
ye-haw. he was going to walk right in front of jenn’s machine.
if he was indeed cute i’d see a sign, even from halfway across the gym. so the dark beauty with the built upper arms & tattoo walked right in front of jenn & nothing. damn it. & then. something wondrous happened. jenn’s head tilted ever so slightly to the right & i just knew, just KNEW that her eyes were following the boy into the weight room. now it’s not like she was ogling him like a ravenous dog & a steak or anything, it was the smallest little movement, as if she was looking at the clock, which just so happens to be right above the weight lifting area. but the timing was just right so i knew that she sure as fuck wasn’t checking out the time.
hot damn, he really was hot. he passed the jenn test.
but the very best part of the whole night was as i was dropping jenn off at her apartment. & i was telling her that there was this cute guy that i saw, but then i wasn’t sure if he was cute, & then, he walked in front of her & i saw her checking him out. & she kinda couldn’t believe that i caught her checking him out.
& i have a whole new reason to drag my ass to the Y every night, the beautiful tattooed boy. although i’ve also developed an odd phobia regarding how people view me from the back when i work out. maybe it’ll even out in the end.
i walked by jenn's elliptical as my legs did their impression of jello, she was breezily gliding on the elliptical with another 27minutes to go, she was doing an hour. the chubi. seriously, love her to death, but wanted to punch her square in the balls because i was there hyperventilating & she was breathing normally & looking decidedly NOT sweaty. she offered to leave early for me, & s grunted that nah, i should really do some time on the treadmill.
as i walked to the back of the gym to the nice brand-new-just-arrived-after-thanksgiving treadmills i noticed a boy. correction. a hot boy. & then i had this awful image of this dark haired beauty running & watching my jiggly ass in my black leggings bounce around & laughing so hard that he trips & is shot straight into the wall. no way was i going to be responsible for that. so i went to the back row on treadmills, an old guy is short-shorts between me & the beauty.
but then i started doubting myself. cause my cute boy radar has been quite dodgy lately, i’ve been declaring males hot who were showing up as a definite not. & i was seriously wishing jenn was next to me so i could get her spot on opinion of the dark haired possible hottie. i was still dutifully plodding along on my treadmill at a whopping 2.2 miles per hour with a everest like incline of 3.0 when the hottie jumped off the treadmill & went to lift weights.
ye-haw. he was going to walk right in front of jenn’s machine.
if he was indeed cute i’d see a sign, even from halfway across the gym. so the dark beauty with the built upper arms & tattoo walked right in front of jenn & nothing. damn it. & then. something wondrous happened. jenn’s head tilted ever so slightly to the right & i just knew, just KNEW that her eyes were following the boy into the weight room. now it’s not like she was ogling him like a ravenous dog & a steak or anything, it was the smallest little movement, as if she was looking at the clock, which just so happens to be right above the weight lifting area. but the timing was just right so i knew that she sure as fuck wasn’t checking out the time.
hot damn, he really was hot. he passed the jenn test.
but the very best part of the whole night was as i was dropping jenn off at her apartment. & i was telling her that there was this cute guy that i saw, but then i wasn’t sure if he was cute, & then, he walked in front of her & i saw her checking him out. & she kinda couldn’t believe that i caught her checking him out.
& i have a whole new reason to drag my ass to the Y every night, the beautiful tattooed boy. although i’ve also developed an odd phobia regarding how people view me from the back when i work out. maybe it’ll even out in the end.
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